The arrival of Bailen and Tasia.
After reading so many birth stories in your publication and finding
them inspirational and helpful in preparing for the birth of our second
child, a successful VBAC, I wanted to share our storiesÉÉ.
The arrival of Bailen 29/1/01
I enjoyed the 'perfect' pregnancy, felt wonderful and healthy and
just loved the attention and support I received. I worked up until
6 weeks before my due date and then had the remaining time to relax,
connect with my baby, prepare the babyÕs room and do lots of reading.
We did what all my friends had done Ð booked into a private hospital,
attended all the classes and saw an obstetrician all the way through
the pregnancy.
The day before my due date I had 'a show' and then sporadic contractions
over the next day - how exciting, things were happening! Then, 24
hours after the show, at midnight at the start of my due date, my
waters broke and things really got going. We rested and showered and
got ourselves on to the hospital a few hours later. I coped with the
contractions with breathing and focussing and spent a few hours in
the bath, finding the water soothing. By 8am I was 8cm dilated and
things were going well. The obstetrician checked in on us and said
weÕd meet our baby by morning tea time. By midday I was fully dilated
and had succumbed to using the gas, but nothing much else was happening.
The doctor was a little surprised and ruptured the forewaters. Still
nothing happening, no 'urge to push'. I had felt like clearing my
bowels a number of times during the morning but not the urge to push
out a baby!
At 3:15pm we agreed to have an epidural and syntocin to speed up
the contractions, hopefully make them more effective in pushing the
baby further down. The baby was still quite high and seemed to be
taking 3 steps forward and two steps back with each contraction. After
monitoring by the doctor and a top up of the epidural, by 8pm we agreed
the baby didnÕt want to come out on its own and it was time to go
to theatre. The obstetrician said he wanted to try forceps first and
if the baby was still too high then he would have to do a Caesar.
We had lots of discussion and complete faith and understood there
was no other way for our baby to come out!
And so, our darling baby son, Bailen, was delivered approximately
21 hours after labour started, by C-Section. I was able to meet him
straight away and as soon as I was in recovery, he was put to my breast,
which was wonderful.
I was exhausted and in shock for some time and I felt as though it
took me longer emotionally to recover from the C-Section than physically,
which was a long time anyway. I was dissappointed that I had not been
able to birth vaginally. My husband (Luke) and I had not considered
the possibility of a caesarian Ð a healthy pregnancy, big hips and
we didnÕt know anyone else whoÕd had one! We hadn't even read the
chapters on caesars in our pregnancy books!
I could accept that that was what had to happen, the labour was
just not progressing, even after all that time. I was happy with the
consultation of my obstetrician and I felt totally involved in the
decisions and trusted him completely, heÕs the expert! My main issue
was not having a reason why. What was wrong with me physically? What
else should have I done to prepare for the birth? Did I stop the progression
of the labour with my thoughts and fears?
I was amazed to hear the birth stories of other mothers - from the
hospital antenatal class and my mothers group at the health centre
- how many were caesars. I was definitely not in the minority. I was
also surprised that not too many felt, or at least expressed the same
disappointment and sadness I was feeling. Also speaking with friends
and family, all were sympathetic and very supportive but probably
didn't really understand my level of frustration. Nearly 2 years after
Bailen's birth, once we'd started to discuss a second pregnancy, I
went and had a Pelvic CT scan which the obstetrician had suggested
I do, once IÕd finished breastfeeding. This scan showed one of the
pelvic measurements as being 'on the small side of average'. This
gave me some relief, being able to 'blame' something physical. The
obst. suggested that future births would most likely have to be by
caesar but we would discuss when pregnant. And so a couple of months
later, we were!
The arrival of Tasia 5/11/03
This pregnancy, like the first, was pretty much trouble free, except
the tiredness, now that I had a toddler to chase after. We booked
in to the same hospital and obstetrician, with the expectation that
I'd also be 'booking in' for the birth. When we went for our first
appointment with the obst. at 12 weeks, we discussed BailenÕs birth
and the next delivery and results of the CT again, and expressed our
desire to deliver naturally. The obst, could not say the CT results
definitely ruled out a vaginal birth and said he was happy for us
to have a 'trial of labour' but was cautious in again saying it would
most likely end in a ceasar. We discussed the pros and cons of a planned
C-section versus a trial of labour and the possible risks of both.
We hadn't done too much preparation or research as I had assumed it
would be an elective ceasar. We decided to continue to discuss at
future visits, no need to make a decision now.
Over the next few months Luke and I then started to discuss having
a VBAC and what it meant to us and how we were going to achieve this
goal. So much to consider - rupture of the scar, the baby not being
able to come when he/she is ready, putting the baby through a trial
that may end up the same, my recovery taking longer if I had to labour
first then have a c-section, the recovery taking longer if I had a
c-section and not an uncomplicated delivery and keeping in mind the
effect not just on myself, the new baby and Luke but on Bailen as
well, etc, etc. In the end we weighed up the risks and benefits and
decided that we wanted to try, given that there was no definite reason
for the stalling of the first labour. And, we came to the conclusion
that we wouldn't achieve a VBAC if we just did what we did last time,
went in to the birth with the same preparation and tools. We decided
we would have to do something different so if it did end up with a
C-section, we'd know weÕd triedÉ.but where do you start?
I began by doing a search on VBACs and doing some reading on the
internet. So much information, but I found it difficult to find 'my
story'. I was not angry and disgruntled at the medical profession,
I had not had a terrible, out of control birth experience, I had no
serious medical problem which took the birth process out of my handsÉÉ
We thought we would get a 'second opinion' from a doctor about the
CT results. We saw a doctor at a family clinic who attends many home
births and is a huge advocate for birthing naturally. We discussed
the CT results and he assured us they weren't a problem. He made several
suggestions to help us achieve our VBAC goal - change hospitals and
doctors, have a home birth, employ an independent midwifeÉ.. I wasn't
comfortable changing hospitals, I was already half way through the
pregnancy. I didn't want to change doctors, I was confident with mine
and he knew my background. A homebirth wasn't an option, for conservative
me, knowing that my obst. was cautious anyway about having a trial
of labour.
So, I phoned around a few midwives and we arranged to meet one, Jennie
Teskey. She was lovely and supportive of our goal and again made lots
of suggestions. We were already 25 weeks by the time we met and still
wavering over our decision - are we doing the right thing? Is it just
going to end up the same? Was I prolonging my recovery by going through
labour first? Was I putting baby and me at risk by trying? A few friends
said 'are you crazy - just book in'. Most people didn't really understand
why I wanted to pursue this, but 'whatever makes you happy'. We had
so many doubts. I started to have regular massages and chiropractic
treatments and attended prenatal yoga classes. We saw Jennie another
five times before the birth to discuss my progression, prepare a birth
plan and just generally get familiar with each other. She prescribed
lots of reading and gave me some contacts for VBAC mums and suggested
that I perhaps go and see a counsellor for a debrief of the previous
birth experience. I was still finding that each time I discussed/explained/thought
about the first birth experience, I got a bit teary and felt sad.
I kept putting this off and really started to feel positive about
the birth, feeling I could leave the previous experience behind and
think about this one. Then, with 4 weeks to go, I started to panic.
I just felt we hadnÕt done enough to achieve our VBAC goal and there
had to be something else I could do. I felt like I was addressing
all of the physical aspects with yoga and massage and chiro. Maybe
it was time to look at the emotional side. So, I made an appointment
to see a birth educator, Rhea Dempsey and one to see a Kinesiologist,
Ann Johnson.
My session with Rhea, which was on my Birthday!, was incredible and
so liberating. A few things came up on the personality/emotional side
but the one thing which I felt made so much sense to me and just turned
a light on, was a simple diagramatic explanation that Rhea shared.
We were focussing on the stage where my labour stalled and she showed
me a series of diagrams of the birth process - a cross section of
the womanÕs body - showing the direction and position of the baby.
I maintained that I had never had the pushing sensation first time
around but had bowel pressure and these diagrams made it clear to
me that this feeling would have been caused by the baby. Perhaps,
like many other women, I was expecting vaginal pressure to be the
cue to 'begin pushing' rather than downward pressure in the bowel
area. So, I felt exhilarated that I had a possible explanation but
also sad that things could possibly have been different first time,
if I had the correct understanding and education. Another addition
to the bag of tools for this birth!
My sessions with Ann were inspirational too. I felt as though I had
some answers and we were adding to the preparation on a whole other
level. One thing which came through clearly, was that we had done
all we could and I had to let go and let 'the universe' take control
now! So, as my due date approached, I was feeling excited, a little
apprehensive but also calm and positive, with a few moments of doubt.
Given my previous labour, I expected things to start on or close
to my due date, 30th October. It came and went without a sign! My
obst. was having the long weekend off and would be away for 5 days
(starting on my due date). I was not looking forward to not having
him around and having his partner attend, but if itÕs meant to beÉ..
Jennie was also waiting for a call to attend another birth, the due
date for that one passing nearly 2 weeks agoÉ..
Well, my clever little girl waited until my obst. was back on deck,
6 days after her due date, before she decided to get things moving.
No show or waters breaking this time, so already different. Contractions
started around 4.30am and were a regular 8 mins apart. I was relaxed
and reflective, conserving my energy but also excited that things
were finally happening! The contractions got closer and stayed regular
and by 6:30am I'd called my mum to let her know things had started
and she could come and get Bailen once he was up and dressed and we'd
had breakfast together. I also phoned Jennie to let her know what
was happening and was momentarily thrown when she told me she was
just on her way out the door to her other overdue delivery! She reassured
me that sheÕd make it and that things seemed to be moving quickly
and we agreed to keep in contact. I panicked for maybe 5 seconds,
then I focussed and a calmness came over me and I just felt that whether
Jennie made it or not, everything would be alright. We had a backup
midwife organised and I called her to let her know what was going
on and she was happy to be on standby.
Things progressed pretty quickly. Bailen went with mum and after
speaking to the hospital and our backup midwife we headed off for
the hospital about 9:30am, with my contractions a bit erratic but
about 2 minutes apart. Twenty minutes later we were at the hospital.
The birth suites were very quiet - no other clients so we got the
big room with the big bath and a lovely midwife! I presented her with
my birth plan and she confirmed a few of the details with us. Luke
spoke to Jennie and she was still going with her birth and we called
the backup but didn't feel we needed her yet as I still believed Jennie
would make it and I was feeling OK. My contractions continued at 2
to 3 minutes apart and I was relatively relaxed just walking around
and breathing through them. Half an hour later I was feeling more
uncomfortable and decided to get into the bath - it worked well for
me last time. I felt so agitated and couldn't get comfortable - tried
the breathing, massage, lying down, kneeling - nothing worked! After
half an hour my waters broke in the bath - what a relief! Still couldn't
get comfy so I got out of the bath and the midwife checked - I was
fully dilated! It was 11:15. I could feel a lot of downward pressure
and I was keen to push. This took me a while to get the hang of -
effective pushing. During all of this the obst. was notified of our
progress. Jennie contacted us and advised that she was not going to
make it. By this time I was completely comfortable with our hospital
midwife, she was very encouraging and communicative and I felt very
confident of my own ability to do this. The midwife suggested that
it wouldn't be long. Suddenly, Luke realised we'd left the camera
in the car (we didn't think things would progress so quickly). So,
he did a mad dash to the car park and didn't miss a contraction!
The pushing was so different to what I had expected. I spent most
of the time on all fours on the bed, this seemed the most effective.
So many things kept me going at this time. I thought back to the diagrams
Rhea had shown me. I was taken back to my yoga classes, the positions
we practised and the words of the teacher, it all made sense to me
now. Our sessions with Jennie came to mind and her words of encouragement
and positiveness. Also my Kinesiology sessions - my body could do
this, the baby did want to come on its own - let the universe take
care of it! The encouragement of the hospital midwife was unbelievable
- 'push as if youÕre doing a poo'. That was just what I needed to
hear and it worked for me!
The obst. arrived at 12:30pm and as he checked me out, the look on
his face scared me momentarily. What a flashback. He said we weren't
far off but he had concerns and recommended a vacuum extraction. He
explained the process and that it was still up to my pushing to make
this work. The contractions seemed to stall. He monitored the contractions
and the baby's movement with my pushing and by 1:05pm I had my feet
in the stirrups. I was disappointed about having to lie on my back
and have the suction but at the same time I was totally determined
I was going to birth this baby, I was not going to end up in theatre!
1:21pm out SHE came! Wow, a girl - WE did it!
I couldn't believe it, I couldn't stop smiling! We had her with
us straight away for a cuddle and then I was able to see all of the
checking over and cord cutting etc. I delivered the placenta and then
the midwife showed us the placenta and explained its parts and function.
I had missed out on seeing the placenta last time and I had included
this in my birth plan as an important part of the birth. After the
stitching up (it felt like more, but only a small tear and a couple
of stitches) was done, Luke and I were pretty much left alone to bond
and make calls and then the midwife helped me to shower. So, there
we were less than an hour after the birth, sitting on the couch of
the birth suite, having lunch, feeding Tasia, discussing names and
receiving our first visitors. Tasia's big brother came bursting into
the room, with Nanna and rushed over to Mummy and his 'booful baby'
sister and planted a big kiss on her tiny head!
The next four days in the hospital were so different to my last experience.
I walked to my room! I didn't have any pain, just stinging around
the stitches and sore muscles in my arms and back from the pushing!
I felt so relaxed with Tasia and was able to get heaps of rest before
heading home. This time I didn't get any Day 3 blues and I was on
cloud 9 for a long time. I feel so blessed, proud of myself and so,
so thankful to all of the people that helped us along the way. The
other mums sharing their stories over the phone or in your magazines,
the family clinic doctor (Dr Lucas), Rhea, Jennie, Kate (our hospital
midwife), Ann (Kinesiologist), Stephen (Obst.), my yoga teacher, friends,
family and of course my amazing husband Luke, so supportive and encouraging.
I truly believe we wouldn't have had the same amazing outcome had
we done nothing different and of course I am so glad we decided to
do 'something'.
Thank you again, kind regards, Lisa Clarke
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