What to Expect After a Caesarean.
What about sex?
The same rule applies to women who've experienced
a caesarean birth, as to those who birth vaginally. You resume sexual
relations with your partner when you feel ready. Before you do,
though, organise with your GP/Ob. what sort of contraceptive you
will be using, as it's a good idea to give your body a reasonable
amount of time to physically heal from your caesarean before becoming
pregnant with your next child. Your childbirth professional will
be able to advise you what time frame this involves, in regard to
the latest research available.
You may have to be inventive with the positions used
during sex, to prevent pain, or pressure, on the wound area. And
your partner should be prepared to stop if you do not wish to continue,
so it may be worthwhile discussing this possibility with him prior
to initiating sex.
The wound, and the area surrounding it, may remain
numb for months (may be up to a year) after the surgery. This is
due to nerve stretching, or damage, resulting from the incision,
and surgical trauma to the area. Feeling should eventually return.
It may be a good idea to explain this numbness to
your partner, as it can be disturbing to be touched, or caressed,
on this numb area. Women may also find it impossible to wear tight
clothes, for this reason, as the cloth rubbing on the numb area
can actually cause nauseous sensations.
Please remember that if you are breastfeeding, then
the lowered oestrogen levels (whilst breastfeeding) may reduce vaginal
secretions that are normally present during sexual activity. If
this is the case, then you may need to purchase a water-based lubricant
gel to replace your natural secretions and enable sex to be more
enjoyable.
Also realise that it is normal for you to feel very
tired. You have just experienced major abdominal surgery and all
the emotions that surround such an experience, as well as possibly
experiencing some labour, and your body is healing -> physically
and emotionally. You have a little baby to care for, that is demanding
a lot of your time and energy (day and night!) You will spend so
much of your energy nurturing your baby that you may feel emotionally
'all out of nurturing' by the time you hop into bed at night. This
is the time that you will enjoy either a good sleep, or a little
nurturing yourself (i.e., gentle massage, a big cuddle, etc) and
sex sometimes just seems too hard. Your partner may not understand
this, especially if your loss of interest lasts a long time, but
it will help if you can explain these aspects to himÉ It may encourage
him to help a little more, and cuddle a little more. If he becomes
more supportive, you may find yourself becoming more attracted to
your lovely man, all over again!
One other thing that may cause a loss of interest
in sex is depression. This can be caused by either a:
Whichever of these you may be experiencing, you should seek some
help (it's good to try counselling first, after checking with your
medical caregiver) in overcoming the feelings that these reactions
to your caesarean, or the birth of your child, will be causing.
It's hard to truly 'enjoy' your new baby, when you are struggling
to overcome feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, etc. Please
realise you are not alone in feeling this way, though sometimes
you may search desperately for understanding. Again, if your partner
is understanding of what you are experiencing, and what you need
emotionally and physically, then that will really help you both
build a stronger relationship as you learn how to work together
in parenting your new child.
To find out how to obtain a free copy, or how you
can organise to distribute the booklets, please click
here.
