Dianna's Story.
Hi. My name is Kerry. My daughter Dianna was born by C section on
July 3rd of this year. Even before I became pregnant I had read many
birth stories and had done a lot of research on child birth. I knew
exactly how I wanted my birth to go. I wanted to have a drug and intervention
free birth in water. And I wanted to be attended by a midwife not
an obstetrician.
When I first became pregnant my husband and I sought care at a local
birth center, but before long I knew that it was not the right setting
for me, so we began looking into home birth. I found a midwife that
I absolutely loved and we hired her, and began planning for our home
water birth. The pregnancy went along uneventfully until the 26th
week when my midwife thought I might have Cholastasis of pregnancy
which is a liver disease which causes intense iching for the mother
and life threatening complications for the baby. I had visions of
our home birth going down the drain, and being forced into a hospital
birth which I did not want. Fortunately we found that I did not have
Cholastasis and the pregnancy proceeded on normally.
On July 1st a week after my due date I woke up with mild contractions.
I spent the morning soaking in the hot tub while my husband went grocery
shopping to buy some food for the birth team. Later that afternoon,
we went out to do some last minute baby shopping in the hopes that
walking would stimulate labor. My contractions continued on and off,
and by one that morning they wer very difficult to manage and I felt
I needed to be in the tub so I woke up my husband. Now, let me add
that my hubby had decided earlier that afternoon that thetub should
be filled up alittle more, so he put our hose in, and left onour shopping
trip. So when we came home, our hot tub was filled with very cold
water, and it would take 24 hours for the little heater in the tub
to be able to warm it back up. So, theres my poor hubby running around
at 1 in the morning draining the tub and hooking it up to our hot
water lines soI could get in.
We spent the rest of that night in the tub. I was throwing up in
between contractions, and experiencing a severe pain on the right
side of my abdomin. I was panicking because my goll bladder had acted
up during the pregnancy and I had visions of having to have a C section
because of being unable to manage the double pain of labor and an
inflamed gall bladder. However, eventually both the contractions and
the abdominal pain subsided enough to enable us to get some sleep.
When I woke up, I thought for sure it must have been false labor,but
by 3 in the afternoon they had picked up again, and I was wanting
to get in the tub. So my hubby began draining it and set it up in
our kitchen. Finally it was ready and I climbed in. Immediately the
contractions felt much more manageable, and we enjoyed a pleasant
evening with me in the tub while my hubby prepared my favorite meal
which amazingly enough I was able to enjoy. Finally at around nine
we called my midwife and doula to let them know that they should be
prepared for a call. They suggested that since the contractions were
pretty far apart that we should try to get some sleep. I was reluctant,
but I knew they were right so my husband and I snuggled on the bed
while he rubbed my back a and talked me through the contractions.
However,by midnight I really wanted my doula so we called her and
she soon arrived. We spent some time with me in the tub, and then
we again tried the bed. It was hard for me to be lying down, but my
doula rubbed my feet, while my husband rubbed my back, and between
messauge and a hypnosis tape about the power of birth we made it through
the night, and I was even able to doze off for a while.
Finally by about 6 in the morning I was feeling an intense pain and
pressure like nothing I had ever felt before. I began to tell my husband
that I us couldn't do this, and he and my doula reassured me that
I could, and that I was probably in transition. My midwife was called,
and I prayed she would get there soon, because I felt like the baby
was going to rip me in half. I think this is where it al went wrong
for me. When I felt that urge to push it really scarred me. That sensation
just felt too out of control. My husband and doula assured me that
I could push, that I did not need to wait for my midwife I was terrified.
I did try a few pushes, but I felt like I really couldn't let go until
my midwife got there. But even after she arrived I was terrified of
the pushing. She offered to check me thinking that if I were fully
dilated it would help me feel free to push. When she checked she said
I was at 10 and could begin pushing. She broke my waters, and I tried
a few pushes lying on my side on the bed, and then we went back to
the tub. by this time my parents who lived next door were in and out
checking on my progress, and my aunt, her roommate, and my cousin
were all called, and told to hurry or they would miss the birth. I
lay in the tub with my husband holding me from behind and my doula
and my midwife's assistant each holding a leg. My family had arrived,
and this was probably the best part of the whole labor with people
I loved around me and the feeling that my daughter would be here any
time.
However, it seemed like I wasn't getting anywhere so my midwife's
assistant checked and found a lip on the serve that would come down
when I would push and so she held it out of the way, and I pushed
and pushed. Once the lip was gone, they made me stop pushing for a
while to let my body rest. They had me on my hands and knees on the
bed, and I don't know what was harder pushing, or fighting that all
powerful urge. When I could again push, they had me try various positions.
We pennant from the tub to the birthing stool, and back to the tub.
But nothing we working, and I was beginning to loose hope. I was screaming
with agony with every push, and the pain seemed to be getting worse.
At this point my midwife suspected that the baby had turned posterior.
She suggested that we try the toilet, and here I really began to get
a rhythm aging. I just knew my baby would come soon. But I pushed
to no avail. I think it was at this point that I really began go give
up. I remember my doula and my midwife's assistant and my wonderful
husband rallying me for one more big effort, and even though was exhausted
I clung to my husbands words love and reassurance and pushed with
all my might. All this time the baby's heart rate had stayed fine,
and this helped me to feel reassured that I could do it. After awhile
my midwife and doula wanted me to try the birthing stool again, and
I reluctantly agreed. I tried it while hanging onto husband's shoulders.
My aunts and cousins and my best friend who had come by this time
cheered me on and I pushed and pushed. It was at this point that my
midwife began to talk of transferring me to the hospital. I was pushing
very hard,me but she could see no progress, and I had been pushing
for 4 hours. By this time although I was really sad, there was a partof
me that was relieved because I had begun to sense that I could not
do it without some help. So, I showered, and my aunts packed a bag,
and off we went to the hospital.
I had expected to be treated with disrespect because we had attempted
a home birth but the staff with notable exception were extremely kind.
I was brought to the room where I was monitored. It eas found that
the great heart rate that the baby had while at home had deteriorated
and was now showing no variability. The doctor on call told us that
because of this, and the prolonged pushing, we needed to do a C section.
I was ready for it even though I was intensely sad and disappointed
that we couldn't get her out naturally. by now I just wanted the pain
to end and to meet my baby.
Before I knew it, I was being prepped and wheeled into surgery. I
was terrified because my husband could not come in until the anesthetic
had been given, I wanted him with me because I have a phobia of hospitals
and needles. However, the two nurses I had were great. They held my
hand as the spinal was administered, and soon my pain was gone, and
my husband was at my side. What seemed a short time later I heard
my baby cry. I began to cry too, and they brushed her by my cheek
and took her away. This was the part I really hated about the whole
thing. Not being able to touch my baby right away, I felt superfluous
and ignored. None talked to me or lolled me anything about my baby,
and felt like I was just a slab of meet as they sewed me up. I kept
asking to hold my baby, and finally one of the nurses had my husband
bring her to me, and place her on my chest. I felt berter and before
long we were in the recovery room where my birth team and my family
were all allowed to see us. My midwife helped me to breast feed, and
we all spent a pleasant hour before I was brought to my room and my
familyleft to get some much needed rest. I was so thrilled with my
new daughter, that for about 24 hours between the drugs and the high
of being a new mom, I hardly felt the pain. However, by the second
day, I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck, and my recovery has
been difficult. I was in bed for about a week after getting home from
the hospital, and even now 4 weeks later, I am very tired all of the
time. I still grieve that I could not bring my daughter into the world
naturally, but she aaand I are both healthy, and maybe next time I
can have the vaginal birth I want.
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