Shoulder
Dystocia.
My first son was born vaginally, with no drugs. The
delivery was difficult (paving the way, so to speak) with
over 24 hours of contractions and laboring long at the
hospital--not the easiest place to relax. I was determined
to have a natural delivery and my husband, my mother, and a
great nurse helped me through it.
My 2nd delivery was fast since we had decided to labor at
home as much as possible. After my water broke, we rushed to
the hospital. With no camera or video and our car still in
the drop-off lane, our second son was born 1 hour after we
arrived with the help of a hospital Dr. Although his
shoulder did get stuck on the way out and the Dr. thought
she had dislocated his shoulder, no injury was found and he
thrived.
My 3rd delivery was 2 months ago. From day one my Dr. was
pushing me to elect to have a c-section. With the shoulder
dystocia on my 2nd delivery, the odds for another shoulder
dystocia increased. I researched on the internet and found
that although the odds went up, other factors could be
analyzed. Gestational diabetes increases the odds for
shoulder dystocia and I didn't have that. A large weight
gain during pregnancy increased the odds, yet I had gained
the least amount of weight with this pregnancy. I found
alternate positions for dislodging a stuck shoulder and
suggested them to my Dr. My Dr. continued to state his
opinion and I mine. He believed the risk to the baby was too
great to even try a vaginal delivery. I had had two babies
vaginally, with no drugs....how could I possibly be expected
to ELECT to be cut open? At one visit I asked my Dr. if he
was uncomfortable with my decision not to have a c-section
and if he thought I should find another Dr. He assured me
that he was there to offer his opinion, but that this was my
birth and my experience and the decision was mine.
My Dr. was on vacation when I went into labor. As soon as
his backup Dr. heard of my prior shoulder dystocia, he
lectured me about why I should choose to have a c-section.
In between contractions at 1:00 in the morning, I stated my
case calmly and clearly. I had been through 2 deliveries
before and knew how to ask for what I wanted and not be
bullied. You realize you're putting your baby at risk he
said and told me the odds. I told him that that was why I
was at this hospital, the best in the area, with a Dr.--at
least I wasn't attempting a home birth with a midwife
(something I've always wanted, but didn't want to take the
risk that something might go wrong). I realize your position
and understand your opinion, I said, but I feel differently.
I mentioned the alternate positions and he said he would
never let me try that with a prior dystocia. I suggested I
get a different Dr. from the hospital since he was obviously
uncomfortable with my decision and since I was uncomfortable
with him. He told me no Dr. in the hospital would take me.
Ultimately, he said the decision was mine and stood over me
saying he needed an answer. I told him I did not want to
elect to have a C-section.
When it was time to push, he took me to an uncomfortable
room prepped for surgery, "just in case." He let me push
maybe 6 times with no encouragement or counting from him or
the nurses. He said the heart rate wasn't recovering well
enough on the last few contractions, although my husband saw
that it was, and said he had to do a c-section. I turned to
my husband and said, "They didn't even give me a chance,"
right before they gassed me and cut my 3rd son out of me
with a vertical incision below my belly button. The Dr. who
only visited me when I was still all doped up said the
incision was necessary because of the concern for my baby.
My baby was born with an apgar of 8. I know women who've had
emergency c-sections, and know women who know women who've
had emergency c-sections and not one had a vertical
incision.
It has been 2 months and my Dr. keeps telling me it will
stop hurting soon and that I will have no problems for the
rest of my life and that people throw the term "emergency"
around too loosely when describing their c-sections. It
still hurts when I laugh or cough or sneeze or turn the
wrong way and I am still scared my older sons will run into
my stomach or hurt me while hugging me or sitting on my lap.
I am still trying to let it go--to stop thinking about it,
but am reminded every time it hurts or every time I take a
shower and look at the seam down my belly.
I am comforted by reading the other stories on your site.
I am comforted knowing that I am not the only one who has
difficulty just letting it go. I am comforted that another
woman has described the experience as a "rape" because I
could find no better word myself to describe what happened
to me. I am comforted that another woman missed the
experience of holding her baby immediately after birth,
because I missed it terribly with each one of mine. I am
comforted that I am not alone and that someone, somewhere
understands how I feel. I am comforted that I have just
taken the first step on the road to letting it go by sharing
my own story.
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