My first C-section Birth...
I sit here writing down my first childs birth story for the first
time, the baby in this story is 3 and half years old. It has taken
this amount of time for me to be able to write down my experience.
With my first pregnancy I had always expected to have a natural birth,
at 38 weeks my blood pressure went up slightly and the doctor recommended
that I be induced the next day. When I got to the hospital a midwife
took my blood pressure and said "oh that's not very high, why are
you here?" Before I could answer she looked at my chart and said "oh
your Dr........'s patient. There are a few of you ladies here today
he is off on holidays tomorrow night." She then gave me a quick internal
and told me that I was as tight and unripe as they get and from her
experience my baby was weeks off being ready to come on it's own.
Knowing what I do now I should have marched right out that hospital
before the Dr came but I was scared and sticking to the "professionals
know best theory", I stayed and had gel inserted at 10:00am that morning.
I walked about and nothing much happened until my waters broke at
4:00pm, I had mild contractions and no support from anyone but my
husband so we just keep walking until a midwife told me to have a
small dinner and a pethidine shot as "It was defiantly what I needed
to get some sleep" I woke to stronger contractions at 3:00am. Up we
were again walking, walking, again no midwife came near me only to
put me on the foetal monitor for the regulated 20mins. My sweet baby's
heart never missed a beat. The doctor came and put in the sintocin
drip at 6:00am in that morning and my contractions were soon coming
hard and fast, I then began to vomit which I then did for a solid
3 hours. I rocked and tried to get through the contractions with heat
packs and hubby's back rubs. This went on for hours I had an internal
just after 12:00 and was told I was only 1 centimetre. All I could
think of was all that pain and no gain, It was then I gave in to the
midwife who had been pushing for an epidural for 5 hours. The horrible
anaestioilgist came and while trying to insert the needle during contractions
told me a loud voice "if you don't stop quivering love you will be
on your own or knocked out, how would you like that." There was blood
and the worst pain in my back I have ever felt, I will never forget
how that epidural felt. When the epi finally took I feel asleep and
woke when my doctor came and after an internal stated that I was still
only one centimetre dilated and that a caesarean would be best, I
asked why it was needed so soon as myself and the baby were both doing
fine. His answer "It's for the best" But of course I had to lay and
wait until he preformed a Caesarean on a lady who had been induced
the same time as me for the same lame reasons.
I was coldly prepped and my poor confused, tired and scared hubby
gowned and shoved in a room for 10 mins by himself before they let
him back with me, this was about 3:00 in the afternoon (23 hours since
my water had broken). The operation started and I was told I would
feel some pressure - but with the pressure came pain. I yelled the
doctor looked at me and said "you felt that did you? Was it pressure
or pain" I answered "pain." He pushed down again and this time I screamed.
The next thing I remember is a baby wrapped in a white blanket flying
past me with my husband following, I had been temporarily knocked
out and brought back to see my baby (how thoughtful of them). My husband
was then told he could show me our baby girl and carried her over
all I could see was a squished up face in a blanket - I felt no emotion
and was still very confused about what had happened. Andrew (DH) then
tells me I began asking many questions like "Is she ok" etc then was
then knocked out again to be stitched. He then left the room with
Murphee our little Daughter (which I later found out had Apgar scores
of 9 an 10) to be weighed, measured and dressed (something I had always
thought I would see) He bonded with her instantly, as did my parents
who all got to hold MY new baby. I woke just in time to vomit all
over the anaesthetist and be put in to recovery with a nurse who could
not answer any of my questions including "Is my baby o.k." "Where
is my husband" etc I clearly remember her saying "love just lay there
and wait, no hurry I am sure everything is fine" ( no thanks so much
)
20 mins later I was taken up stairs where my husband sat holding
his fully dressed and wrapped baby. I was so drugged and tired that
I could hardly hold her, no one attempted to help me feed her and
the rest of that night is quite blurry (A very close friend visited
- I can not remember seeing her) Not exactly what I imagined my first
night with my new born would be like. Murphee was very sluggish and
not very interested in feeding, which I feel can be put down to being
induced and brought into the world early. I finally unwrapped her
nearly 24 hours after she had been born, I looked down at her little
body finally seeing what my baby actually looked like. I felt so distant
from Murphee but I was determined to breastfeed her and so I concentrated
on that task for the next few days. Every time she would feed I would
look down at her and see the most precious baby but still she did
not feel like mine. Every one had these sweet stories of her first
hours and all I had were visions of a cold operating theatre and a
room full of Doctors. My husband and parents have these amazing photo's
holding her my brand new baby, great pictures of them inspecting her
little features, but the photo's with me in I am attached to drips
and laying flat on my back - like a patient they wheeled in to see
a baby. No looks of love from me, just a dopey drugged up spacey look.
What great captured memories I have.
A close friend of mine who has had five drug free natural births
said the other day "you know I have heard so many women tell their
birth stories all the details like (this is when I pushed - then the
baby did this etc) but hardly any are C-section stories and she asked
why I never told her mine" I answered simply " My daughters C-section
story has never felt like mine to tell, It is the doctors and my family's
to tell as I feel like I played a minor role and I have always felt
like I really wasn't there at all"
Megan
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