Birthrites: Healing After Caesarean.

VBAC AT FORTY

I finally became pregnant almost three years after the emergency c/sec birth of my first child, and two months before I turned 40. I had debriefed to the nth degree with my husband, my doctor, and friends who had similar and dissimilar experiences, and read everything I could. My posterior baby had failed to rotate at second stage following prostaglandin induction at 10 days overdue, and failed to descend low enough even for forceps. I was chalked up as a failure to progress after one and a half hours of pushing, resulting in a healthy child but a very unhappy and unwell mother.

Having made it clear to my OB that I was unhappy with aspects of the first experience, and after negotiating conditions of VBAC before and during my pregnancy, I changed to another private hospital but stayed with the same doctor. My pregnancy had some problems in the first 16 weeks, but once this was over and I had the all clear from all my "40 y.o." tests, I began seeing an independent midwife (IM) to attend hospital as a support person. She said to me from the start, "You WILL have a vaginal birth". It was so good to have someone there who had so much confidence in my body.

Throughout my pregnancy I practised optimal foetal positioning - something I knew nothing about during my first. With this pregnancy, the baby was posterior only at the 32 week visit- after that it was anterior or occipital transverse every time.

I tried to keep positive and not get stressed about what would happen and whether I would go overdue again. I worked full-time until about 32 weeks, and planned things to do in the 38th to 42nd week to keep me occupied. My H. and I told no-one the exact due date to keep the enquiries at bay.

I went to see my IM on a Monday, with 10 days to go. The baby was fully engaged according to her and LOA - perfect! This was great news as my first baby had never engaged - not even in labour. We made an appointment for the next Thursday, which was my due date on the scan. That Friday - 39.1 weeks - I saw my OB. When she palpated, she got a huge smile on her face and declared that the baby would not get any lower before labour, and was ROA and looking good. As the relationship had been a little fraught, this was the most positive feedback I'd had. I'd been having a lot of braxton hicks and a few genuine contractions, and I left with her telling me to keep up my evening walks.

I had a very poor night's sleep that night, feeling very uncomfortable and with a very active baby. The next day I took my daughter to a birthday party, still feeling shocking and putting it down to fatigue - everyone told me how well I looked! I decided to have an early night, planning to sort through some baby things the next day.

I went to bed early to read. At about ten o'clock I started having mild contractions, but they were low and definitely not braxton hicks. I ignored them and kept reading. At 11.00 I got up to go to the toilet and discovered copious fresh blood. I hadn't had a show with my first labour, and this didn't look like a blob of mucous with a little blood to me. Alarmed, I rang the hospital. After some discussion they told me to come in, but as the call progressed I had calmed down and didn't want to go in. I talked them out of it, hung up and rang my IM who assured me it was a show, congratulated me and told me to get some rest. I went back to bed and tried unsuccessfully to sleep.

The contractions were coming irregularly all night - in five to fifteen minute intervals. At 4am I got up again to go to the toilet and discovered some mucous. I rang the hospital, confirmed it was indeed a show, and was told to ring again when the contractions were seven minutes apart."Sure," I replied, not intending to. I had a long shower but the pains were worse while I was under the water. I went back to bed, with the contractions closer together and stronger but still not regular.

At six the pains were about five minutely, although I was not strictly timing them, and 60-90 seconds long. I had another shower - this increased the pain again, but when I got out and sat on the birthing ball, they stopped for a while. My husband got up, and I told him we would need to ring my mother soon, as she was 2 hours away and was to mind our daughter. "I think I'm going to have the baby today," I said. "Really?" he said, laughing.

Shortly after this the contractions returned in earnest, and he rang my mother who said she'd be there around nine. I tried unsuccessfully to eat a piece of toast, knowing I would not be fed at the hospital. The pains were longer, stronger and closer, and I began to wish I had a TENS machine at home. Around eight o'clock it was full on with the contractions three minutely. I started to lose the plot. I had pain between contractions - was it my scar? The baby wasn't moving much - was it in distress? I felt pain in my back - had it turned posterior? My husband was calm, telling me my body was doing its job, and we could do nothing till my mother arrived. At this stage I really felt I needed to be in hospital as my confidence was leaving me.

Just before nine the phone rang. It was our midwife saying she was coming over. She spoke to me and assured me everything was as it should be. My mother arrived soon after, followed by our IM at 9.20. I was lying on my side on the bed by now at her suggestion, fighting the contractions and not feeling very good at all. She did an internal - the first one - and declared me 6-7cm and going well! Baby was fine too. We could go to hospital now! She showed me how to groan effectively through the contractions and had a coffee with the others once I'd been to the toilet. While she drank her coffee I laboured in the baby's room on all fours, trying to complete my packing!

The ride to hospital was interesting, with me across the seat divider in the back, groaning loudly every three minutes. The walk into hospital was just as eventful, with my eyes tightly shut and me leaning on our IM and vocalising with every contraction. Finally we got to labour ward. I heard her asking for the big room with its own shower - "you're in there," the staff said, pointing to the only empty suite. Apparently it had been a very busy night! By the time we arrived at labour ward it was 10.45 am - more than 12 hours since the first contraction.

The midwife on duty when I first arrived did not seem very supportive. She offered me a gown, which I refused, and asked me to have the belt on for an "initial" monitor. I agreed, knowing I was 7cm more than an hour before. Th CTG trace was fine. They only monitored the baby's heartbeat, not my blood pressure or the contractions, so it was just one belt. Although it was inconvenient it didn't bother me too much - I was able to kneel on the bed and move around a little, and I really only became conscious of it when the baby got really low. I wasn't keen to use the shower as that had increased my pain at home so that didn't matter too much. I had to lie on my back for the hospital midwife to palpate. That was hell but only lasted a few seconds. I didn't warm to the first hospital midwife (HM). I felt she didn't like me having my own midwife and she was very determined about the monitor. She wasn't particularly encouraging but I wasn't too focussed on her, having my own support available.

Between contractions, groaning and with my eyes tight shut, I heard the HM saying that Dr. B was on her way. Dr B?? My OB was Dr. A. I knew Dr. B, who I'd seen for a couple of antenatal visits over the Xmas break. I asked between contractions what was happening. It was Sunday morning, and yes, confirmed the hospital staff, Dr. A was off for the day and Dr. B was covering. Strangely, I didn't feel fazed. She had been encouraging when I'd seen her, telling me her patients with a prior c/sec at full dilation usually "got there" the next time. In any event at that stage I was so focussed on the pain and so amazed that I'd gone into labour spontaneously, that I doubt I would have worried if they'd told me Mickey Mouse was coming in!

While we were waiting for the OB the battle of the monitor was going on. My IM kept saying how good the trace looked and offering the doppler; the HM kept refusing. The baby was getting lower and it was harder to get the belt on.

In the end it did come off and they checked after every contraction: I still don't understand why they couldn't do that all the time. It was obvious to me that the HM had a mindset about the monitor even though the hospital purported not to have a policy. At one stage - after the OB arrived - our IM persuaded them that I needed to go to the toilet (I hadn't been since I was admitted) and the monitor came off again. I sat on the loo for a few minutes trying to push and when I went back into the room the monitor belt stayed off for a while.

As we waited for the OB I got more and more tired. I wondered how long this was going to go on. I asked our IM and she told me it would stop when I had the baby! I was hating the pain and complaining but thankfully no-one offered me drugs. At one stage I heard our IM say I had an anterior lip. Someone - I think it was her, not the HM - inserted her finger and I think pushed my cervix out. I was crouching on the bed, groaning hard, and I heard the HM say to our IM, "She's pushing!" I don't know if I was or not, but our IM told me to push if I felt like it. I can't say I really felt an urge. Around this time she also whispered to me that when Dr. B came in she would offer to rupture my membranes and I had to decide what to say. I was about to ask what she thought when another major contraction hit and I forgot about it.

Dr. B arrived at midday. She was very calm and very hands off. She wanted to do an internal and I was begging her not to make me get on my back - of course I had to. I was on the birthing ball, got onto the bed for the VE and then straight back on the ball, trying to push. I had no real urge to push although the midwives were encouraging me to. When Dr. B examined me I was indeed fully dilated - 14 hours after my first contraction.

What followed after the internal was one hour and forty minutes of pushing - ten minutes longer than I pushed for before my first c/sec. I still felt no urge for some time but I was being coached to push.. At 12.30, while I was still sitting on the ball, my membranes ruptured. The expected question about ARM had never come. Dr. B. had just stood back and let it happen. I was so grateful that I hadn't had to make a decision.

At 12.45 the baby's heartbeat dipped a bit, and the HM put the monitor back on. Our midwife assured us (and her) that this was normal. Not long after this the shift changed. The first HM left and was replaced by two lovely ladies - one for me and one for the baby. I was getting close! The whole atmosphere changed. "You're a champion" they told me, " You're doing so well!" All the pressure lifted - they were happy to use our IM's doppler. I felt everyone relax a little, even though I'd been pushing for quite a long time.

After about an hour of pushing the baby was still at the spines. I had some urge to late in each contraction, but it was not overwhelming. It was a relief to feel the urge as the pushing relieved the pain a little. The baby was not turning the corner - the OB later described her as occipital transverse, ie halfway between posterior and anterior. We tried many positions to tilt my uterus but it just wasn't happening. I was vaguely conscious of some tension in the room, and my H later told me there was an exchange of looks between the HM and the OB that reminded him of the critical moment in my first labour. Finally the nice HM suggested I sit up on the bed and lift my knees to push with each contraction. It took the pressure off my feet and it did the trick. The baby passed the spines and rounded the corner! My first baby never had. The OB, who had not long before told me to make the most of these contractions as she didn't want me pushing too long, announced that it was going to be a normal birth. Somehow I had known that all along!

I kept pushing, eyes shut, urge late in the contraction, pain intense. My husband whispered to me that they were getting ready. I opened my eyes and one of the HM's was at the crib turning on the heater. The doctor had a plastic pinafore and gloves on. I really was having my VBAC! The baby was coming.

Around this time I heard my IM whispering. I knew she had a homebirth in progress in another suburb and had arranged for a colleague to go. I heard her whisper something about the shoulder and in my befuddled state thought she was talking about getting my baby past the spines. It was only in the last ten or fifteen minutes when one of the HM's remarked that it was a shame she'd be missing out on the fun, that I realised she'd gone! Again, I was calm. I just knew I was going to do it.

I kept pushing, unsure how long I had to go. As I had not been to the toilet enough - thanks to that silly monitor - my bladder was full and the OB put in a catheter to empty it and make some more space. Not long after that she said to pant when she told me so she could move the cord. It was loosely around the baby's neck. She told me to pant, then push. I couldn't detect any difference in the sensation of crowning - like with the pushing contractions, the pain had been so intense for so long I couldn't distinguish. But I opened my eyes and saw my baby's head! So this was what birth was like! The OB told me I'd have the baby on the next contraction. Another push and the job was done. It was 1.38pm.

They handed me my baby. My husband and I were able to see that it was another girl. No-one took her away. Her Dad cut the cord in situ, not just the trim as he had with the c/sec. I had a small tear which required four stitches. I didn't feel them going in, nor the injection of oxytocin for the placenta - just a sting when the catheter came out. Third stage was completed about ten minutes later, but I didn't look. I only had eyes for our baby. I was very swollen and sore after all that pushing, but I didn't care.

Within an hour, I had breastfed and had a shower. By about 4pm we were all back in my room entertaining my mother, a very excited three and a half year old big sister and our IM who had delivered a 5.1 kg girl with no stitches about half an hour after our daughter was born. (Yes, 5.1 kg - that wasn't a misprint!) She told me later that she'd left once she could see the baby's head and that, like me, she trusted the two midwives who came on when the shift changed.

All the midwives back on the maternity ward kept congratulating me - I don't think they see many VBACs. One agency nurse told me some of the hospital midwives have lost their skills with the doppler which may account for the enthusiasm for the monitor.

Both my labours were very similar in length from the first contraction and pushing time, and the babies were almost identical in weight and head size. The only real difference was the position and everything that flowed from that. Our IM told me only position would stop me from doing it myself, and she was right.

The birth was everything I could have hoped for. It was a blast.

I would like to thank everyone who helped: husband, mother, midwives, doctors, all my girlfriends who listened to me, all the other women who've shared their stories, and most of all my two beautiful daughters for taking me on this journey.