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Author
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Topic: Would you try vbac again?
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<Hollie>
unregistered
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posted 11 July 2006 11:56 AM
HI,
I've posted on here a long time ago and don't know my old username. I need some honest perspective.
DD was an emergency c/s.Private hospy and OB My waters broke and cx started spontaneously, went to hospy, labour was augmented, lots of monitoring, not enough moving, dilated to 3cm, baby apparently in distress(decelerations after cx) c/s recommended and had. She was 3930g, apgars 9 and 9, a large cone on her head and apparently posterior?
DS was an emergency c/s. Tried public birth centre this time. Cx started and went on for 30 hours before I wanted to go to hospital, stayed active ENTIRE time at birth centre, bathing, walking etc, 7cm on arrival, 12 hours later fully dilated and told to push if I wanted, Didn't feel anything to push? I was on a birth stool for two hours trying to push. He wouldn't budge, begged for help, had another c/s. He was smaller at 3710g, apgars 9 and 9 and laying in a LOL(left occipito lateral) inside me.
I am pg with #3. There will be 3.5 years between DS and the new baby. I've been told that if I couldn't birth a smaller one after being 10cm for over two hours and upright I don't have much chance of birthing vaginally at all. And also the fact that both were malpositioned and no matter what OFP I did befoRE and during labour I couldn't change it makes me wonder whether I do have a pelvis issue?
I believe in vbac as much as the next woman who wants one so I don't need to be convinced of their safety or success. I need honest opinions about whether I am any more likely to be successful with a #3 or is it quite possible that I would endure labour then go through the hell of an emergency c/s and the wretched recovery afterwards
I really though i did everything right with my vbac attempt, different birth environment, meditation, I had a doula, I read a lot, I stayed up and active for 49 bloody hours, I practiced OFP weeks before the birth, I paid attention to his position at every appt, I stayed home as long as possible. As much as I would love the experience of birthing vaginally I don't want to "fail" again.
Thanks for any input.
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JenBen
Member
Member # 520
Rate Member
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posted 11 July 2006 07:59 PM
Hi Hollie,
I so understand where you are coming from. I don't have any answers for you but if I got pregnant again I would be in the same boat. My first was a c-section after 46hours of labour and being fully dilated but not descending past the spines. He was posterior so I thought that was the cause. My second delivered 8 weeks ago was also a c-section after attempting a homebirth. I did optimal foetal positioning and laboured really well at home, fully dilated but ended up with a anterior lip in my cervix which did not budge after being in transition for over 6 hours. My baby was LOA but after a while of being in transition he began to turn so by the time of the c-section he too was posterior.
I don't really know what happened or why, my midwife thought that as he turned at the spines while I was fully dilated that I may be one of those who are truly too small in the pelvis. I can't help but wonder if there was anything else I could have done.
I don't think I will have any more children but I don't know what I would do, if I was brave enough I think I would try for a VBAC anyway while fully accepting that I was likely to have another c-section and therefore try to make sure that the hospital would accept my wishes if it was required. I found the pain of labour while intense to be quite manageable and the transfer not too bad. The worse was the feelings of failure afterwards. The post-operative pain would be there if you elected to have a caesar anyway.
Sorry this is likely not to be much help to you
Jennie
Posts: 55 | From: perth | Registered: Sep 2005
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<Leah>
unregistered
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posted 12 July 2006 06:54 AM
HI Hollie,
Justmy personal experience here - my first baby (3.7kg) was an emergency c/s following FTP and foetal distress. I knew he was posterior but after the c/s it was discovered he was also a brow presentation. My second baby (3.6kg) was also posterior. I refused to let them break my water until he got into the right position. He turned after rocking, walking etc and was born after a episiotomy was performed as I never really felt a strong enough urge to push and his heart rate dropped to 60bpm and didn't recover.
My third baby (4.3kg) was in the right position and was born quickly with no intervention. There was no mistake about the urge to push with that one. Babies 4 (4.1kg) & 5 (4.4kg) were also in an ideal position.
I don't know why exactly things changed from #3 onwards - perhaps my body changed enough, more room in utero. Perhaps my body finally got its act together. Like you I did everything in my first two pregnancies to shift those babies into a more ideal position but nothing worked. I was also told that it was probably just the way I carried my babies.
I don't subscribe to the size theory because I birthed the bigger babies without any complications
best of luck and I hope my experience gives you another perspective.
cheers
Leah
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<Hollie>
unregistered
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posted 23 July 2006 12:52 PM
Thanks for your responses.
I've just heard of another person having a successful vbac and I get so angry that I couldn't do it. I get really angry when I talk to other vbacs and they ask whether I did this or that and I say yes and all they can do is look at me dumbly. It's like it's anathaema to say that maybe your body just can't do it....or even that that is a possibility. I just feel like unless you have a successful vbac your story isn't worth anything as obviously YOU did something wrong. Noone wants to know about failed vbacs.
My husband doesn't want me to try again. I don't want to go thru labour just to c/s again. I guess an elective is easier to recover from? Beacuse a labour then emergency is horrible to recover from.
Thanks for the vent anyway ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Got 6 months to decide.
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JenBen
Member
Member # 520
Rate Member
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posted 24 July 2006 01:24 PM
Hi Holly,
I really don't know what I would do if I was pregnant again. It would be hard to give up the hope of a VBAC but then again so difficult to go through a labour calmly when there is so little hope (for me at least) for a successful vaginal birth. I found the disappointment devasting and find it hard to talk about with women who achieved thier VBAC's. While most are o.k I too have faced the questions did you do this or that????? Yes I did!!! and still no luck. My private midwife, a pro of over 15 years believed I did everything I could. Sometimes there really is a fundamental problem going on, not just a smokescreen or conspiracy by doctors.
What really, really gets my goat is the people who believe that we bring the caesars on ourselves because of some lesson we need to be taught. Check out an irritating and hurtful example near the end of the Thoughts on Healing section of this site. Yes - maybe the mental issues surrounding some womens labours may inhibit thier progress and yes - if they deal with it they may then go on to have a successful VBAC but not everyone has a caesar for the same reasons and no amount of mental work is going to help everybody. You are right - sometimes our bodies just don't work the way they are meant to - period. No ones fault, just a sad unfortunate fact of life. We don't tell people they have failed because they need glasses - do we???
Anyway Holly - good luck with whatever you choose to do, I hope it is a good birth
Jennie
p.s Sorry for my vent!!!!
Posts: 55 | From: perth | Registered: Sep 2005
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<Hollie>
unregistered
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posted 27 July 2006 12:58 PM
Thanks for your reply Jennie.
While I'm not at all glad that neither of us had teh vbac we wanted I am glad that I"m not alone with these sorts of feelings
I'm going to talk to teh midwives at my first appt but I doubt I'll get much support and I'm not willing to go down the independent midwife/doula road again. Wonderful if you have the spare cash but otherwise it's a huge strain. I just want to enjoy this, my last pregnancy, without being vbac obsessed like I was last time. It's all I could think about...the pg was a secondary issue lol!
Thansk anyway.
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<Karen>
unregistered
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posted 31 July 2006 11:22 AM
Hollie, don't listen to anyone and just look inside what do you want to do? Do you have the strength and will to try labour again? Is it absolutely crucial that you give birth through your vagina? If the answer is yes then try your luck again and that's exactly what it is: luck. If the answer is no then just save yourself all the anxiety and book in for a ceaser. I know that a lot of women hate this phrase: but the most important thing is you have a healthy baby. And elective c/s is easier to recover from I've been told by several women.
I am not against vbac at all it would be my dream come true to have a vbac but sometimes it just doesn't work. I had a emergency c/s after pushing fully dilated for two hours and baby just wasn't coming out got stuck wrong position. I don't bloody know the whole labour went good I felt so cheated in the end. I did the hard yards like you and didn't get the reward of a normal textbook birth but I got a beautiful healthy baby boy who I love dearly. How he came out is not the most important thing in the world. For two years I have been debating the issue of how the next birth will be. vbac or caeser. to tell you the truth I don't think I could handle the feeling of failure again. I would have to see how I feel when I get pregnant. Whether I have the strenght will and passion to go through all that again. But anyway, whatever you do, don't stress. Enjoy your pregnancy, it's a wonderful thing. Don't focus too much on the birth. Focus on your baby and yourself.
Jennie, congratulations on your new baby. I have been following your story to see how it unfolded. I know that you did everything possible and had the right attitude. But you're right: sometimes a woman just can't give vaginally for whatever reason. Your hear about women who have epidurals and spend the whole time on the bed and they still come out the right way. I am starting to believe that it doesn't matter what you do: it will be what it will be. It's just luck I think but at least you tried. I think I will at least try again but with an epidural. If it wants to come out good if not then ceaser me again but if I failed again I would definitely have an elective c/s for my third. That's just me. I don't need to give birth through my vagina to feel complete.
Anyway
Good luck to you both
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