Yes, we can feel that way. Every woman who aimed for a natural birth and experienced a c/section instead (even if it was for a good reason and was necessary) can feel let down by her body's failure to birth her baby without 'help'.

She may even feel traumatised by the c/section (emotionally, physically or both) and need some one to talk to about these feelings as a way of healing them. That's where the support groups are good (is there one near you?) even if you are having no more children. They allow you to openly talk about what happened in an atmosphere of empathy - usually everyone there has had a c/section and feels similarly to you.

Being able to let all these feelings 'out' allows a woman to heal. It allows her some space to look back on the birth and see the reason for the c/section. If it was necessary, then good. If it wasn't then it probably wasn't her fault the birth escalated into a c/section - more likely a choice of one of the attendants for whatever personal reason (his/her fear, time limitations, etc).

Thank goodness for necessary c/sections. Without them many babies would die, and sometimes even mothers. How can we not be grateful, even though sad at the same time, when a c/section was necessary? It's the unnecessary c/sections that may emotionally traumatise us. If we know they were done for the wrong reasons then we not only have to recover from major surgery, facing the 'failure' of our body, but we have doubts about the motives behind the surgery.

I have had 3 c/sections. I consider my first two necessary, because I was naieve and unprepared for birth, so I was railroaded into them. I also didn't have support people around me (apart from my poor husband) so I felt unsupported. My third c/section was unnecessary and occurred because of time limitations on my VBAC. I chose the 'wrong' support people (sadly the only ones I could find to support me in a VBAC after 2 previous c/sections) and this is where I felt 'let down' during this VBAC attempt.

This last experience showed me how women don't have support and the knowledge necessary when attempting VBAC, in the majority of cases. That's why Birthrites began. It supplies support groups (I so hope there is one near by you) to give women support and allow her to heal and plan future births. It refers women on to supportive caregivers (midwives, doctors, ob's), it gives her knowledge (hotlinks, books, magazine, etc). And it's just 'THERE' saying "There is no reason why you shouldn't try to birth vaginally, if you want to, for any future births" because women need to hear that.

Maybe last time the baby was in the wrong position, maybe she was induced and her body wasn't ready. Maybe, for whatever reason, the c/section was truly necessary, but there is no reason not to 'try' to birth naturally next time. The alternative is to book a c/section. Which will give more healing?

It's all about control and support. Losing it can make our birth experiences a nightmare. Maintaining it, and being shown respect for our choices, can give us an empowering birth experience. In planning a c/section women can maintain control and support - sadly. But what do they lose?

Planning an EBAC (empowered birth after caesarean) is healing in itself. It's a journey towards the birth of a child. If things don't go exactly as planned, it can still be healing in that the woman is surrounded by the right support people and therefore should maintain control no matter how her child's birth evolves.

If you choose to have no more children, then you can still find much healing by contacting other women who feel as you do. But, please realise that your body does work - given time and the right support. If we feel fearful during our labour (for whatever reason) then our body will 'hold on' rather than birth our child into a dangerous situation - our adrenaline doesn't recognise the difference between a scary hospital scenario and a ferocious carnivore standing over us (know what I mean?)

If we are not feeling safe, and supported, in the right environment and surrounded by the right people, then our body won't labour effectively. Or if we are induced and our body isn't ready to labour then we won't do so effectively.

There are a multitude of reasons why your body may not have 'worked' well last time. But that doesn't mean it isn't a perfectly normal female body, with the potential to birth 10 babies naturally, when supported correctly and fully.

We must recognise this. We must have faith in our bodies. Technology has removed a heck of a lot of that faith, leaving us with too many choices of interventions...
'In pain dear? How about some Pethidine, or an Epidural?' 'Overdue, Mrs. Smith? How about we induce you tomorrow?'
And women agree, are thankful, with no thought of the possible side-effects of the drugs, or the spiral of interventions necessary when the first intervention doesn't work.

So, look at your last birth. Remember where the problems started, and try to sort out the 'why' of the c/section. You can request your records to help you with this, and it's great to discuss them with a midwife, or good doctor, to understand them better.