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Author
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Topic: Failure
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<sparkz_>
unregistered
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posted 16 December 2004 10:25 AM
While I love my son very dearly I often have feelings of failure about our birth experience. I am hoping to have a natural birth next time but want to know if I do have a good chance of achieving it.
I laboured actively for 20 hours last time, my son was posterior and lateral (his shoulder was engaged with his head). I knew he was facing the wrong way and was prepared for a long birth, but not that long. He went into distress and was cut out.
I had failure to progress also, I never got past 4cm and I was told I was swollen. Also since having an xray I have a narrow pelvis.
I want to try next time, but do I have too many hurdles?
Why did I not progress last time?
It was soo painful having a csection the thought of another is terrifying to me.
thankyou so much for your help.
kc
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Mary
Moderator
Member # 461
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posted 31 December 2004 02:58 PM
Hi kc
The feelings you have mentioned are very real and normal for women who have experienced a caesarean section. Please know that you are not alone and that these feelings do pass as you heal.
Every pregnancy and birth is different and just because you had a caesarean the first time after a very long labour, does not mean that it will happen again. There are a few things that you can do to prepare yourself for your next pregnancy and birth:
It is very helpful in preparing for your next pregnancy to face up to your feelings of failure and fear of what might happen. I would suggest writing your birth story in full and talking to a counsellor who specialises in birth trauma. Get in touch with a vbac support group in your area if possible.
Preconceptual care – see a naturopath- to ensure that you are in optimal health and that your scar is very well knitted together, in preparing to grow another baby.
Check out these resources in particular (there are others on the suggested reading list on the Birthrites website) Birthing From Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz, The Pink Kit can be ordered from www.capersbookstore.com.au, Birth as a Healing Experience: the emotional journey of pregnancy through postpartum by Lois Freedman and hypnotherapy VBAC preparation CD by Maggie Howells
Read all about VBAC so that you know all the risks and benefits and you can make an informed choice about how, where, with whom you birth your baby. Check out www.maternitywise.org and www.ican-online.com.
*Educate yourself about all the things you can do to encourage the baby into a head down, anterior position and all about active labour and birth.
Good Luck kc. It can seem like a daunting journey at times, but you will feel more empowered as you do this for yourself, your son and the children you’ll have in the future!!
Midwife Mary
Posts: 22 | Registered: Dec 2004
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