My Wife's A
Bitch!
By Rob O
What happened to the woman I married?
Who is this person who makes unreasonable demands on me then
calls me every name under the sun. I know she's there
somewhere behind that accusing look. Would I have married
you if I'd known this would happen, honestly, probably not.
Can I talk to my family, friends and work mates about what's
happening, no way! They would not understand or it would
become a major bitchfest. I somehow have to be the man, the
provider. I spend my days at work worrying about how she's
coping, is she going to hurt our son, is she going to hurt
herself? I try to get as much overtime so I don't have to
go home. When I'm home I know she needs me, yet I can't get
close. I know what I can do to help. Instead I stand back,
unable to cope. But what about my needs, don't I work long
hours to put food on the table, a roof over our heads? We
can't afford to buy takeaway all the time, but a lot of the
times I come home to no dinner. I need to escape, but where
do I go? Would I go for help even if I could? It is very
difficult to tell someone how I feel, especially in a
group.
Don't get me wrong, there are great times
too, the baby will have a good day, it is like the way it
used to be, the way it should be. I want to be there
sharing these moments. But when she's abusing me I'll think
to myself , why me? I don't have to put up with this shit.
I so much want to walk out the door. Don't ask me why I
stay, I don't know. Maybe because I have an obligation to
my wife, especially my son, who is so innocently caught up
in all of this. When we are around other people she has
this mask so others can't see what is happening. Then again
so do I. The perfect family.
What would I do differently? I would
listen without criticising, putting her down or ignoring
her. I would encourage my wife to seek help sooner. It
was someone else who pointed out the problem. Yet I knew
there was a problem from the beginning. I would find a way
for me to get help. Even if it's family therapy, or talking
to my GP This would have helped me to understand what was
happening to my wife and where I could get understanding for
me.
Sometimes my wife's still a bitch, but I
know it's just frustration. Then again I'm not perfect
either. I can put my arms around her and hug her even if I
don't have the right words. I had to deal with this twice
when she was ante-natally depressed with the second
pregnancy. I wouldn't wish a post-natally depressed wife on
my worst enemy. I can look back and say we survived, that
with help it does end. Just stick in there, talk to your
wife and listen to her. Especially tell her that you love
her. Eventually she'll be able to love you back. Whether
it's marriage or partnership you take the good with the bad
for better or worse. That's what commitment and love is
about.
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