1 C/section and a
VBAC.
My Wife Debbie and I thought we were ready for labor and
birth. The fact is if we knew then what we know now….
Sound familiar. One never knows what the next minute of
life brings. We hope and pray that tomorrow arrives and
brings sunshine. Debbie and I look at our first birthing
experience as a saving experience. It saved us in more ways
that one. Yes, we experienced much pain and sorrow for a
LONG time, but we are better from it today.
Six years ago my wife and I prepared for our first child.
We had all the plans set. Her pregnancy went very smooth,
we took childbirth classes offered through the local
hospital and all the needed supplies were at home ready to
go. We went to an OBGYN office that was made up of five
Doctors. We saw each one briefly in the 9 months of
pregnancy. All but one we felt good with after our brief
meetings.
Our due date came and went, our little angel was not
ready to be delivered. On an office visit, seven days after
our due date something caused Megan's (our unborn child)
heart rate to drop for a second. We were sent to the
hospital to have some sort of stress test done and
everything was confirmed to be fine. Debbie was not
experiencing any contractions, had not lost her mucous plug
and no dilation had taken place at this point. The OBGYN
suggested that labor be induced. Later that Monday we went
to the hospital to get "checked in". The plan was to induce
Debbie in the morning and if we spent the night we could get
started first. What a prize, so we thought. After we got
settled into our labor room the OBGYN checked Debbie. Her
mucous plug had started to loosen and she was dilated to 1.
We were given the opportunity to go home and return in the
morning or stay since we already registered. Debbie and I
talked it over and stayed. This is where we made one of the
biggest mistakes in our life. And we paid for it. That
evening Debbie was given prostaglandin gel to help soften
the cervix.
Very early on Tuesday, around 5 Am the nurse started the
induction with pitocin. Four hours later we finally saw an
OBGYN. OH NO, is it the one we cared little about, YES it
is! His bedside manor was crap at best. A few minutes
later he was gone. The morning went fast. Debbie and I
were excited and very naive to what was about to happen.
You know how it goes? You get pregnant, nine months later
go to the hospital, have a baby, go home. SURE. Around
10am Debbie told me she didn't like what was going on, she
got real scared. Labor was thrown at her. A short time
later the Doctor broke her water; again he was in and out of
the room. At some point Debbie was given stadol to help
with the contractions. Debbie doesn't remember a lot of the
events that morning, or the next few mornings. Megan's
heart rate went from 120 to 50. In a flash, I had nurses
around me calling for help. They were yelling at each other
to get that Doctor in here ASAP. They put Debbie's bed in a
position almost standing her on her head. They started
saying Emergency C-section, Stat this and Stat that. They
even had me sign some paper work as they took her into the
operating room. I could barely hold the pen let alone sign
my name. As they prepped Debbie I was put into a gown, mask
and booties. Just then a neonatal Dr. started to scrub up
next to me. Thinking I was another Dr. he asked me what the
situation was and I responded telling him, "I'm the husband
not the Dr.!" We both laughed a brief second and the nurse
squared him away.
As I waited to enter the room they removed Megan from her
mommy. Once they let me in the operating room I found my
wife unconscious on the operating table. Her tongue was
taped to her cheek to keep her from choking. Her insides,
stomach, intestines, laid on her chest. I watched her blood
pool on the floor; the Doctor even made an attempt to corral
it with the sheet he threw down to help soak it up. I
called out, "Is she going to be OK Doc?". I was assured
"fine". As I stood over my daughter I was mesmerized by the
beauty in front of me. I counted her toes and fingers, just
right. However, I noticed Megan was breathing hard. The
neonatal Dr. confirmed she needed some special attention and
said they were taking her to the neonatal unit. Debbie and
I had a plan and the plan called for me to stay with the
baby. So I went off with Megan. Soon later Megan was doing
fine. They had to give her some oxygen and planned to keep
her for seven days for observations and antibiotics.
Meanwhile, I felt Megan was safe and I went to see
Debbie.
Debbie was in the recovery room. Her catheter came out
and I heard them call the Doctors name over the load
speaker. At this point I was worn out. I made my way to
our room and had a snack. The Doctor found me and assured
me all was well. I thanked him. He said in those
situations I have to save Mom first then the baby. WOW! If
you ask me you shouldn't have to save anyone. Remember, get
pregnant, go to hospital have baby, go home. What had just
happened to us?
As the morning turned into afternoon the "experience of
birth" turned from bad to worse. It almost seemed
impossible to hear the Dr. paged so many times knowing it
was to handle problems my wife was experiencing. My wife
had lost more blood than originally thought. Her body was
shutting down, her heart rate was off the charts, kidneys
failing, lungs filling with fluids and by 8pm the Doctors
felt the best place for her would be SICU.
It has been six years and I just cried typing the words
SICU.
On day two, Wednesday, Debbie had to go under for a
second surgery. Her blood supply was not recovering; they
thought maybe she was bleeding internally. The second
surgery was very scary, her body was not stable and her
blood count was already very low. If it wasn't for her
young age and healthy body they may not have been able to go
forward. She made it through ok.
Thursday, day three Debbie seemed to be doing better. I
went home that night feeling optimistic she was on the road
to recovery. The true sign would be when her blood test
came back around 4 am on Friday. I left Debbie that night
with a plan to return in the AM. I woke up at 5 AM. The
first thing I did was call to get the results. Bad news,
her blood count went down again and she had some trouble
breathing during the night, which was helped with breathing
treatments. I rushed to the hospital, speeding and running
to Debbie's hospital room. I knew I had to compose myself
not to worry Debbie. When I arrived I found her alert
showing concerned and scared signs for the first time. I
demanded action. I made threats; I was less than calm. By
lunchtime every specialist for every major organ came to see
Debbie. The problem was her white blood cells were eating
the red and not allowing them to reproduce. The Blood
specialist made his calls to what he said the best Dr's in
the world and came up with a suggestion. After what would
be Debbie's final blood transfusion totaling 10, she had
made the turn and was rebounding. By Sunday night she was
released from SICU and back to the maternity floor.
Megan had made great progress also, so after 8 days in
the hospital (5 of them my wife spent in SICU) we all went
home as a family. Great it is over. Or so I thought.
My wife and I were happy to be alive together with our
new baby girl, we planned to forgive the butcher (oops, Dr.,
after all he is only human). The events needed answers. We
wanted to know more, what our birthing options would be in
the future, should we even have more children, the list was
endless.
What I didn't know was my wife was feeling very
depressed, she felt failure, she felt robbed, cheated out of
the birth experience. Funny I felt this way also. After
some time we started talking about what happened. I even
listened to her and followed her as she burned up the
Internet seeking answers. The International Cesearean
Awareness Network (ICAN) was a major help for us. Not a day
passed I didn't find myself crying over what happened.
Debbie and I felt it was time to turn it over to a higher
power.
Debbie was on a mission and I guess I was to. As she
found answers I found answers. We started to heal. Debbie
looked for possible alternatives in and out of our state.
We interviewed and toured two Birth centers and three
hospitals in Florida where we live. I had asked my wife
what happens if we have another c-section? Her response was
that she would need to be at peace that it would not be an
"unnecessary cesarean" and that any type of interventions
would only be used very wisely.
Five years past, it was time to expand our family. We
settled on a birth center 75 miles or 1 hour and 15 minutes
away from our house. Most of our family was very supportive
the others were full of fear and we steered clear of FEAR.
This birth experience was unbelievable; I felt WE were in
the driver's seat not an OBGYN. Debbie's first sign of
labor began on our son's due date when she began losing her
mucous plug and later contractions began off and on. Our
plan was to stay home and labor as long as we felt possible.
On Friday morning we drove to the birth center along with
our labor assistant, Jill. After being checked for progress
we were told that we were dilated to 4 and that we would be
having our baby later that day! It was also discovered that
our baby was in a posterior position which explained all the
back labor my wife was experiencing! We were encouraged
that the baby would hopefully turn as labor continued. We
were given the opportunity to leave and go to the mall or
the park to do some walking. Eating light and drinking were
also encouraged throughout her labor. This was a huge
difference from being confined to a hospital bed and tied to
a machine. We went out and by noon Debbie was in intense
labor, by 3pm active labor. What an experience we had. The
midwife wanted to break Debbie's water, she felt labor might
have been slowing down. Being very cautious of intervention
we were very apprehensive and bought as much extra time as
we could. Debbie and I walked around the Birth center, we
stopped at one point and prayed for God to lead and guide
us. As Debbie went to lye on the bed so the midwife could
break her water, it broke all on it's own! Later that night
I witnessed my wife go from being in very active labor to
becoming exhausted from it all but hanging in there! When
the midwife suggested transferring to the hospital for
pitocin my wife perk right up and looked like a woman full
of laboring energy! WHAT A WOMAN! The midwife even got a
kick out of it and allowed us to "buy" more time of laboring
at the center.
Unfortunately, Debbie could not get past 8 centimeters.
Our baby was still in a posterior position and Debbie was
having a hard time relaxing due to the hard back labor.
Finally, some time around midnight we had to transfer to the
hospital for interventions. Oh no, here we go again. Armed
with the Holy Spirit, a lot more knowledge, labor assistant
and midwife what could go wrong? Debbie has some medical
interventions. This time we knew what was taking place and
why. The interventions were used moderately and to give
relief to a very tired mother so she could sleep. An
epidural and some pitocin were administered. At one point
about 3 am, Debbie heard me weeping at her bedside, all I
could think about was this could not be happening again.
She assured me that she and the baby were going to be fine
and that she was at peace about everything. All would
continue to go the way we had hoped. We felt assured that
our baby boy would be born by morning. As the morning sun
rose, Debbie began to push. One hour later our beautiful
son, Christian was born. We had our VBAC!
There was a time I would over analyze life and ask the
question what if this, what if that. I have been able to
get past that. I have been blessed with a loving wife who
searched for answers the same time I did and eventually
found peace by giving our burdens to a higher power. Sure
we get excited at the crap people are fed in regards to
c-sections, VBAC's, home births etc. We focus on learning
and understanding and taking responsibility for our actions.
We (Debbie more than I) also like to share our experience
with others, encouraging them to seek answers and
alternatives to choose from.
I hope our first experience at birth does NOT sound
familiar to anyone reading this, but I am sure to be wrong.
Our VBAC was a much needed healing experience for both of
us. I now feel more able to "move on". It was not easy for
me to write this, as I am sure it is not easy for others to
express their feelings and experiences with birth at times.
I pray it helps someone.
Scott A.
C-section survivor
|