Birthrites: Healing After Caesarean.

Yes, It is Possible to have a VBAC in a Private HospitalŠ.
if you have the Right Support Team

In 1996 my first child was born by caesarean section after ruptured membranes and a failed induction lead to foetal distress. I was sensitive to the drugs in the epidural and spent the entire procedure feeling nauseous and dizzy despite lying flat on my back. When our daughter was given to me, I feared that I couldn't hold her properly and asked my husband to take her so that she didn't end up being dropped on the floor. While I was being stitched up, the baby was taken away and fed without my permission in the neonatal unit. Needless to say, it was not the joyous beginning of a new family that one reads about in pregnancy and birth books. However, we were grateful that our daughter was healthy and preceded to learn how to be parents.

When I became pregnant with a second child all I knew is that I wanted the next birth experience to be vastly different to the first. I'd heard about VBAC and by chance stumbled across an article about it in a parenting magazine. The article gave the address of the Birthrites website, which set me on a path of discovery, and ultimately, healing. I read everything on VBAC I could, started doing yoga and relaxation exercises, questioned my obstetrician in detail about his practices and birth philosophies, drank raspberry leaf tea, attended a Birthrites gathering, devised suitable visualisations and affirmations to get myself in a positive mental state, hired a brilliant midwife to support me in labour, attended a spiritual birthing workshop and took Evening Primrose Oil in the final weeks of pregnancy. In short, I did everything that I could to prepare myself for a VBAC, so much so that women who have not experienced an unwanted c-section thought I was obsessed. However, the preparation process was vital as it emptied the olympic swimming pool of tears that was the legacy of my first child's birth and slowly began to replace it with positive images of natural childbirth.

However, there were a few sticking points. The first one is that I live in a country town and services such as Perth's Community Based Midwifery Programme do not exist. Although the local hospital has a low c-section rate and an excellent VBAC success rate, all my family support was in the city. Therefore, my husband and I decided to go to Perth to have our baby, especially since this would enable us to have the support of a midwife experienced with VBAC during pregnancy and labour.

The second potential sticking point was the obstetrician because these doctors are often accused of being pro c-section. I again chose the obstetrician who had delivered my first child, but not before I had questioned him closely to understand more of why the c-section had taken place. I also communicated how powerless I had felt during the event. My obstetrician and I then spent time debating the pros and cons of VBAC and I must have made my feelings very clear. The result was a written agreement between us as to the parameters of the next birth. I typed up the agreement and sent the obstetrician a copy. He wrote a two page reply in which the key sentences were "you have expressed deep personal discomfort and loss at not being able to achieve a vaginal delivery. As I stated the other day, I do recognise the importance of achieving vaginal delivery to you and therefore would do my utmost to ensure that that will occur". This was exactly what I wanted to hear.

The third sticking point was the metropolitan hospital, which caused me considerable anxiety late in pregnancy. Unfortunately, this private hospital has a notoriously high c-section rate, which it justifies as being due to the number of well to do women who request the procedure in order to "avoid getting a sore bottom". However, to change hospitals would have meant changing caregivers which, given my advanced pregnancy and my obstetrician's support for VBAC, I was unwilling to do. The hospital's attitude seems to support repeat c-section rather than VBAC and its policies reflect this. For example, because the hospital considers previously sectioned mothers as high risk, it prohibits them from using the family birthing suite, which is the only labour room that has a bath. Thus, previously c-sectioned women are effectively discriminated against and I wrote the hospital a long and very angry letter of protest. Writing the letter had a cathartic effect and it was not important that I didn't receive a response until after my baby was born. In fact it made me realise that an effective birth team was an absolute necessity if I was going attempt a VBAC in such a setting.

My planned birth team was my husband, a midwife support person and the obstetrician. We hired a wonderful midwife, recommended by Birthrites, to assist us in pregnancy and labour but because of hospital policies she could attend the birth only as a support person. Apart from myself, the pregnant one, I would have to say that our midwife support person was the most important vital of the team. She got me through the pregnancy by helping me deal with my fears and taught me to trust in the birth process. For example, I had to trust that whatever midwife was on duty at the hospital when we arrived would be the perfect person to help welcome our baby (which she was). Our midwife support person's reassurance at the end of a phone line was also invaluable and her understanding of the feelings of VBAC women such that I could rely on her wise counsel. She also got me through labour with encouragement and reassurance, and guided my husband in ways to assist me most effectively so that he became actively involved. I still find it uncanny that she was able to provide what was needed by instinct when I couldn't have articulated it myself ! When the labour was not going well and intervention seemed likely, she refused to let us lose hope and become demoralised. She shared our excitement when the situation improved and ultimately shared our joy when our daughter was born. In fact I can't help but feel that we owe much of the VBAC success to her.

So if anyone finds themselves faced with the challenges of VBAC in a less than ideal environment, do not lose heart. Assemble the best support team that you possibly can and trust in the birth process. The wisdom of birthing women is with you.

And Oh the JoyŠ

On Tuesday evening 31 August I had some back pain and woke about 3am on Wednesday 1 September when contractions began. I slept badly from then on and woke again at 5am when the contractions started getting regular. I woke my husband Paull at about 6am and rang Lesley Jennings, our midwife, at about 8am. At this stage the contractions were 10 minutes apart and 30 seconds duration, which Lesley said was only pre-labour. I had an appointment with Dr Y at 9.20 am that morning but cancelled it in case he wanted me to go to hospital before I was ready! We stayed at home all day, with me breathing and rocking through contractions and getting excited as the mucous plug came away. Paull was fixed to his computer (to finish a report for work !) and my sister collected our three year old about lunchtime. Lesley came to lunch and I had to stand up from the table and lean forward over the kitchen bench every time a contraction came. It reminded me of an anecdote in the inspirational book, Birthing from Within, in which an elderly woman advises her pregnant granddaughter to "lean over the buffet" during contractions. Now I knew exactly what she meant !

After lunch, Lesley talked to me and Paull about our birth plan and then went home. About 2pm I took Panadol and tried to sleep but the contractions were much worse when lying down. Upright was definitely better. At about 6pm I managed to have dinner and again had to stand for some of the time. By 8pm the contractions seemed closer together so I asked Paull to time their intervals and duration. They were longer and closer together but still not at consistent intervals. At 10pm we rang Lesley but she said it was still not active labour. With all the puffing it felt pretty active to me! However, Lesley said that she would slowly make her way to us. We were glad of the reassurance.

Lesley arrived at about 11pm and did a Vaginal Examination (VE). She said that the cervix was paper thin (good old evening primrose oil!) and massaged the edges of it for several minutes to release prostagladins. There was approximately 4cms dilation and the amniotic membranes were bulging with every contraction, so much so that Lesley thought that they could rupture at any moment. We discussed whether she should rupture the membranes at home but Lesley was reluctant to do this in case there was some meconium in the liquor. However, we did decide to go to hospital before the labour got too intense and the membranes could be ruptured there if necessary.

We arrived at the hospital about midnight and met the duty midwife, Kath Budinska. We were lucky to have such a like- minded person on duty and she supported all our efforts for natural childbirth and vaginal delivery. Kath checked the baby with an electronic fetal monitor and then did a VE. She found that there was 4-5 cms dilation but that the baby's head was still quite high in the pelvis. Kath then phoned Dr Y who advised 2 hourly VE's. I leaned against some tall cupboards during contractions and Kath put my aromatherapy oils in a vaporisor. With the fragrances wafting around the room, Paull and Lesley massaged my back and shoulders which was heaven. By this stage, I was starting to feel pain in my lower back as well as at the lower front and it slowly dawned on me that the baby was in a posterior position, having been anterior for the entire pregnancy. How had that happened ? I hoped that the baby would rotate and leant forward as much as possible during and between contractions to encourage this.

Kath suggested that I get into the shower and direct the water onto my back, which I did, and she then turned the lights off. The aromatherapy came with me. About an hour later I got out of the shower and then realised how much back pain there really was. Kath did another VE and found the cervix fully effaced (yaaah !) and dilation at 7cms. She said that the very bulging membranes were probably keeping the cervix open. The baby's head was lower but still relatively high. Kath then suggested an enema (yucko!) or a bath to get the labour moving along. I was keen to try the bath, especially since hospital policy had banned me from the family birthing suite, which is where the only bath was, because of my previous c-section. I got in the bath, again with my aromatherapy and the lights off, and tried to stretch out and sleep on my side between contractions. This worked to a point, but when the contractions came they would hit hard unless I was on my hands and knees leaning over the edge of the bath. The back pain was also building up. Lesley ladled water over my back in time with my exhalations during contractions and this brought considerable relief. When the contractions got longer and stronger, Paull took over this role and Lesley knelt at my head and talked me through each one. I gripped her hands and arms tightly and felt desperate if she left the room. She really was my Rock of Gibraltar during the tempest. After I had been in the bath some two hours, the pain finally got to me. I burst into tears and sobbed "I want to see my baby and don't want to suffer any more". Kath and Lesley later told me that this is an important method of ridding oneself of adrenalin. I got out of the bath and started to shiver despite the warm towels (surely this was transition ?). Lesley and Paull supported me on shaky legs back to the labour room.

By now it was just after 4am and Kath did another VE. There was still 7cm dilation but the membranes were less bulging. Kath was also concerned as she had detected some possible swelling of the cervix. This was not the progress I had hoped for. For pain relief I tried some nitrous oxide gas, which wasn't effective, and soon after accepted an epidural. I was so tired. I inhaled the gas deeply during contractions while waiting for the anaesthetist but it soon made me feel nauseous. About 5am the anaesthetist arrived and quickly and efficiently inserted the epidural which soon brought welcome relief from pain. About 5.30am Kath spoke to Dr Y and agreed to artificial rupture of the membranes. Lesley and I had wanted this earlier, but Kath later explained that her reluctance was because she didn't want to push me to the next level of pain relief as I was handling the labour well.

Soon after the ARM, the secondary effects of the epidural hit and it wasn't long before nausea and dizziness engulfed me. I felt terrible, and actually made myself vomit in an effort to feel better. I also had to be propped up in bed as I couldn't balance nor move my legs well enough to walk. I accepted some Masalon for the nausea but this had no effect. I started to lose track of events and just drifted along in a cloud of nausea with the EFM bands strapped to me. My skin also itched from the epidural drugs. There were mixed messages from the next VE too. The cervix had gone back to 5cms without the bulging membranes to keep it open, but the swelling of the cervix had gone. The baby was direct OP (occipito posterior) but the head was further down than before. I tried to visualise the baby's body in a more favourable position for birth but after more than 24 hours in labour I was exhausted, and propped up on pillows I drifted off into a half sleep.

About 7am Dr Y arrived and then he and Kath did a VE each. They found no change in the cervix, still at 5cms. However, the doctor thought the baby was ROP (right occipito posterior) whereas the midwife thought the baby was direct OP. It was depressing news, made worse by the continual nausea. Dr Y then had a serious talk with Paull, Lesley, myself and Kath about our options. As he saw it, there were three. The first was to try induction, which surprised me as he had always said that he would not do this because of the fear of uterine rupture. The second option was to do a caesarean and the third option was to wait. Dr Y then left the room so that we could discuss the options amongst ourselves. Thankfully, no one was in favour of the induction. Paull and I were resigned to accept another caesarean. I think he had had enough of seeing me suffer and I thought I had done the best I could in the circumstances. The nausea and fatigue I was experiencing were so awful that I just wanted it all to be over too. I am sure Lesley was disappointed with us both but she was diplomatic. She asked me "What does your heart say?" and I rather guiltily evaded the issue by mumbling "I don't know." When Dr Y returned some half an hour later, we told him of our de facto decision and discussed some parameters for the c-section. That is, the baby was to be put wet and slippery on my chest instead of being taken away and wrapped up, and the theatre staff were to be respectful and not discuss the footy results or the dinner party that they had attended last night ! I also told Dr Y that I didn't want to feel totally nauseous during the procedure as I had the last time. He then ordered a more powerful remedy for the nausea before departing to assemble a team of staff for theatre. It seemed that we had reached our lowest point. Lesley left the room to have a break and freshen herself up. She later told me that she went down to the hospital chapel and prayed. Looking back I think God must have listened to her.

When Dr Y returned, he said that as so much time had passed since the last VE, would we consider waiting another 20 minutes and re-checking the situation. I was starting to feel much better from the second anti-emetic and readily agreed. At 8.45 am Lesley's prayers were answered as we found that the labour had reset itself. The cervix was 6cms dilated, the baby's head was well applied to the cervix and was actually at the level of the pelvic spines! We were overjoyed and the cloud of c-section hanging over our heads melted away. We decided to wait another hour. I had another short doze before Lesley woke me up and told me to start visualising our baby moving down and turning into the perfect position for birth. Her tone was very much 'get on with it' so even though sleep was preferable I started visualising.

At 9.30am Dr Y did another VE. Lesley later described his face as that of a little boy opening his Christmas presents- just surprise and delight all at once. It was brilliant. The cervix was fully dilated, the baby was still at the spines and had moved from a posterior into an anterior position. Yipee ! We were elated that our baby was ready to be born. Now we just had to wait for the epidural to wear off sufficiently so that I could push the baby out. Paull, Lesley and I rested and Dr Y again left the room.

At about 10.30am I got ready to push and found that I felt uncomfortable sitting up. I turned around on my hands and knees and gripped the head rail of the bed. Paull stood near my head and Lesley coached from the side. She felt my tummy for contractions and ordered me to start pushing as each contraction started, getting three or four pushes each time. I could feel the baby move and this spurred my efforts, and then I was able to collapse down onto a stack of pillows between contractions. I also was fearful of not pushing the baby out myself as Dr Y had earlier mentioned that forceps or a ventouse could be required.

At 10.55 Dr Y returned and hurriedly put on a surgical gown. Apparently he said that I shouldn't have been pushing in the hands and knees position so I was soon sitting up facing forwards again. The paediatrician appeared too and said that if it was all right that she would take the baby to be checked over. I told her that it wasn't all right (nobody was going to take this baby away!) so she retreated somewhat. The move in position from hands and knees to sitting up was a timely change as it made the baby turn the corner into the final straight. By now I had a midwife supporting each leg and within a couple of pushes the baby's head was in view. Lesley guided my finger down to feel it but even then I still didn't realize how close the baby was to being born. Within a few more pushes I felt the head crowning and did some serious primal screaming. This is when I decided that a vaginal delivery was a VERY BAD idea and I definitely was NOT going to go through with it. Lesley said that Paull's face was just a mask of horror too. Dr Y was alternatively instructing me to push and pant and I had no breath to argue. It was too late anyway; between pushing and panting the head had arrived and I was so busy working that I didn't realise it had happened ! Lesley put my hand on the baby's head as Dr Y eased the torso out and Lesley helped me lift the baby up under the arms onto my chest. And oh the joy. I held that wet and slippery body and Lesley lifted her up so that we could see that we had a daughter. It just felt so right then and still does.

Later, I was also delighted at the reaction of the hospital staff, who were agog that a successful VBAC had taken place in a setting that is notoriously pro c-section. Staff members privately congratulated me on such an achievement, and the hospital paediatrician, a woman in her fifties, confided that she had also had a VBAC. We discussed how much better it was than a c-section delivery, especially in terms of recovery time. I felt like I was sitting on top of a mountain looking out over a magnificent vista.

Because of this VBAC birth I feel healed and whole, and have exorcised the pain that I hadn't realized I was carrying for almost three years. And best of all, even on bad days, I can still see the vista from the mountain top. I would like to thank dedicated women such as Jackie Mawson and Lesley Jennings for helping me to see it.