Jya's Birth.The fire glows warm and comforting, the night silent, sacred and peaceful. My sister looks on, sitting, relaxed. Our two children sleep ing our bed close by. My midwife rests calmly at the edge of the birthing pool while Glenn, my husband, kneels in the warm water beside me. From my safe and loving womb into our strong and loving hands, he waits silently to welcome our new infant in the physical realm.. I reach down and feel my baby's head inside me. He is close. I have felt him all the way as my body and baby have moved in harmony and awareness with one another. I am ever mindful of the need to surrender to the mighty birthing force. "Gentle , gentle now little one, we don't need to tear". My thoughts and whispered words reach him and my body and baby respond with a gentle easing back. I wait patiently, surrendered and relaxed, leaning forward and floating in the divine waters that surround us. I look across and smile at my sister, (she sees but a grimace. Ha!), But I feel wonderful, powerful, alert and alive.I am Mistress of my own destiny. Another surge of loving energy moves powerfully through me. I feel my body push and my son move downward again. His head begins to crown now, I gently ease the skin of my perineum around him. My voice releases in a high note, my throat loose, my jaw relaxed. I consciously push now. In an instant his head is through with ease. I hear a gulp and stand up. Altering my forward incline slightly but ever mindful to remain leaning forward. His lip is caught under the edge of my perineum. My midwife reaches over and gently eases the skin, his chin now moves forward and out. I look around, my husband is ready, not taking his eyes from his son. Ever since the birth of our first daughter, he has wanted to be the first to touch our child as he was born. (He was told to wait outside for the birth of our first daughter.) I now welcome the final surge that brings our baby earthside. His little body smoothly slips from me into his fathers big loving hands. Holding him but a moment, he passes him between my legs and into my eager arms. I scoop him up close to my breast and sit back down into the water. I am likened to a child eager to explore a new wonderous surprise. My husband rests close to us. Our two other children still fast asleep close by. Our faces and that of my midwife and sister are glowing. Huge smiles radiate the feeling of joy , wonder and release. The hour struck 11.00 in the evening. And so Jya was born, in the sacred space of our family home. Truly a gift indeed. The labour had commenced just 1hr and 50 minutes prior. The initial break of waters took me by surprise. I panicked. I didn't feel that I was entirely ready. I called my midwife and she assured me that the time was perfect. She reminded me when I was ready to simply welcome the force that will bring my baby into our arms, and labour would begin. I stood in the shower. My sister came to me and said in a wonderful voice "I think you are so beautiful, strong and courageous." That was the most perfect thing anyone could have said to me in that moment. I am so grateful for her presence and her thoughts. With those words resounding about me I decided it was time to get on with it. And that- Yes! I was courageous and I could do this. I said outwardly "I now surrender and trust this wonderful flow. Welcome ,welcome, welcome. With that, instantly, the first of the birth surges began. I got out of the shower and walked around in my bedroom. I lit candles and placed oils in the oil burner. I consciously opened myself to receive the power of birth. I had worked through many a fear prior to this birth and that of our second daughter's. Now I felt clear and able to simply allow the process to flow. As I danced and moved with the surges of energy, a song came into my head. The words I had never heard before. I began to sing it out loud. Within the body of the song a name repeated itself over and over. Later, I knew that same name was to be our new born child's name to keep. By the minute the birth force grew more and more intense as I continued to ask for it's presence. Finally I could sing nor dance no longer. I knelt down at the foot of our low lying bed, resting my forearms and upper body on the mattress. I kept leaning forward and kept welcoming and surrendering. My attention was becoming increasingly inward. I was intensely aware of my body and what it was doing. I felt my cervix, my whole being opening. MY midwife arrived. She asked if I needed anything. "Only to rub my back" was the reply. There was no intrusive vaginal examination. I did not need one. No woman does if she is left to feel her own body and respond to her own rhythm and pace. As it was, I was in my sacred , safe and quiet space and able to be totally free, to open fully and welcome the truest, most vulnerable state a women may experience, without fear of intrusion or interruption. My awareness was totally inward and yet I felt in touch with everything around me. I needed no other about me yet my midwife was of great comfort. Suddenly I was acutely aware of every sound in the house. MY husband and his dear friend,( who had been dining with us when my waters broke), were talking quietly in another part of the house. They were constructing the birthing pool. Their voices suddenly were loud and booming to me. I called up to them demanding quiet. Apparently they did not hear me yet they hushed themselves all the same. How important it is for a quiet, safe, dimly light environment in which to birth. Such a primal need. If we observe animals birthing and take note of their chosen birthing environments we find them in secluded quiet spaces. It makes sense that our process is no different. As the surges of labour became too intense I called out "Gentle now, just gentle now, let me rest a little". At this command the surges eased off and when I was ready I asked for them to resume. They did instantly.
I could feel my baby and I working together, totally in touch with the universal flow of energy we are all a part of. I felt him slip from my womb into the birth passage. I was naturally adjusting the lean of my body position to suit his descent. I was open and expanded as his little body moved down with ease. Prior to each surge he would move and adjust his position also, readying himself for the next push. It was my physical body that pushed with ease at each unrestricted surge. Not I "forcing" a push. I was so aware that my body's knowing was bringing this baby forth. I was more the observer of natures grandeur at it's finest. It had been so quick. The pool was now ready and so were we. Although I did not think I could move from this place, I stood with the help of Glenn and my midwife and walked up the hall to the living area. The pool stood in front of a warm and glorious fire. I stepped in and sunk down into the blissful comfort of the warmed waters. From here I reached down and felt for our child. My hand met with the little firm walnut feel of his head just inside the opening. I had read that if a woman helps her baby's head through herself there is far less chance of tearing. And this I found not only to be so empowering and wonderfully connected but true to form. The birth of his head was so gentle and easy. I felt so relaxed and in control. From this point, the rest you know from where our story began. Within ten minutes of entering the water we were holding Jya in our arms and awaiting the placenta to release. In hind sight,, I would have liked to have left the placenta and cord intact with Jya as in the way of a "lotus birth". As it was, we waited until the cord had stopped pulsing and Glenn cut it. He moved out of the pool and wrapped our beautiful little boy in a soft cotton blanket, then stood by the fire while I waited for the placenta. I had a dull ache in my buttocks and lower back. I sat in the pool but started to feel annoyed at having to wait for the placenta to come. I knew I did not need to create a problem with this birth on any level and so was surprised when it didn't seem to happen within 5 minutes of my delivering Jya. MY midwife suggested I get out of the pool. I did, and immediately I felt the placenta slip through and out. It had already come free. I just needed to change position to allow it to complete it's movement out. We moved down to the bedroom where I was glad to settle onto some cushions and put Jya to the Breast. He suckled instantly and drank. There he stayed for a long time before finally falling asleep. He was so alert and awake. He looked about him and into our eyes. He moved his head in the direction of Glenn's voice and that of Lesley's. We stroked him and snuggled him close. I felt so blissful and complete. Soon we moved into the bed. At 2am reluctantly everyone left. Glenn fell asleep on the edge of the bed. I was still wide awake and so ecstatic at such a beautiful experience. Slowly the morning sun began to creep across the bedroom floor. His two sisters finally awoke and saw him lying in my arms. Our youngest daughter, Jessica who was two and a half at the time said "Look Tyler, our brother is birthed. He's like baby Jesus." From that first morning, whenever they were asked his name they were adamant it was "Jya Milan Jesus"
My experience had been blissful. However, had I listened to the fears of the "specialists" they would have given me an elective c-section because of my "history". Even though I had given birth to my second daughter naturally and at home. They could not see past the prospects of litigation should something go awry. I do not wish to condemn their opinions or decisions as they simply acted out of their own fear. Their reality of birth and mine are indeed worlds apart. I do, however, thank them as their actions and negative words set off such intense feelings within me. The Pain of such feelings provided the impetus to seek and discover a greater truth concerning the power and potential within all of us. Our adversaries are indeed our greatest allies. Mine helped me turn my pain into power.
As it was, our long journey and the knowledge gained along the way ensured that our son did not have to endure bright lights that burned and shocked the senses, nor a bath with burning soapy water on his soft and delicate skin, no painful stinging drops in his eyes or needles that would set his perfect internal balance and process reeling. He did not endure any form of cold harsh treatment. We had no need to weigh him and he wore no form of clothing for at least a week. His naked body lay next to mine under covers. All he felt was the loving touch and energy of the parents he knew. Lesley looked at him briefly, unobtrusively and even still he knew her voice and touch from all the time she had spent with us prior to the birth. He was calm and so relaxed he did not need to cry out in anguish, but simply coo and gurgle contently. Her much welcomed visits to our home had been full of connection , sharing of thoughts and fears on both sides and the clearing of anything that may have hampered a smooth journey for our little boy. A strong trust and friendship grew. We taught each other alot. She spent time with Glenn separately also as he had his own issues concerning the arrival of a third child. And so collectively, Jya was brought into this world in a gentle, loving and peaceful way. His body and senses honoured and respected so that he could reach out into his surroundings as his awareness grew, not have his environment bombard him with it's unwanted heavy sounds smells, visuals and general harshness. He and I remained in the safe environment of the house for three weeks prior to venturing out and even then it was only to my mothers house. During the time of our retreat he remained in either Mine or Glenn's arms for 90% of the time and continued to do so until he was more mobile for himself. I believe such a gentle deliverence to be the way nature intended and the right and potential of every child and every birthing woman. My first birth experience had been that of a classical C- section after which I was told I would not be able to birth naturally ever again. I saw how fear had created that first experience for me and my child and knew that by working through those fears and limiting beliefs , I could create a far more empowering experience next time. With the birth of our second daughter I did just that. I realised how immense is our power to heal and create both what we want and not want. Jessica's birth was also an incredible and wonderous experience where the power of birth was truly shown to us. She was also born at home and a story for another day. I mention these here to let you know that to trust in our own hearts desire and wisdom is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and to our children. To live our lives in accordance with another's fear is to rob ourselves and the other of knowing a greater truth. It took work and the help of some amazing and beautiful people to realise the experiences we have had. If you desire to create such experiences know the power is totally within you and trust the perfect people will come along in support of you. One thing I was very aware of was other peoples negativity. To remind myself that it was their reality and not mine was my greatest saviour. MOTHER NATURE IS WISE. TRUST HER AND IN DOING SO LETS TRUST OUR HIGHEST SELVES. We are in gratitude of Lesley Jennings our midwife and cherished friend and the visionary GP who supported her and us in the birth of Jya. Also Maggie Lecky-Thompson honoured and loved midwife and friend for her incredible wisdom and support in the birth of Jessica. And those other wonderful birth professionals who aided in the birth of our first daughter Tyler- whose actions and words were the impetus for discovering a greater truth. WITH LOVE I WISH YOU BEAUTIFUL BIRTHING AND PARENTING. Jane, Glenn, Tyler, Jessica and Jya.
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