Kym's StoryHi there everyone, my name is Kym Ronzitti and I am an area contact for Birthrites'. I joined this wonderful crowd of women when we were still called BACUP and was part of the process as we became Birthrites: Healing After Caesarean. I don't do so much administrative stuff now, as I've just had my third child. We all felt really great when the Child Health Centres agreed to take in our pamphlets. Jackie has been doing a great job getting them into all the hospitals too. I really hope that we enable women to feel empowered enough to politely DEMAND what they really want for their births &endash; to be able to make their own informed choices without being rejected or ridiculed by their health carer. I thought I'd tell you a bit about myself and my birthing history. I am 28 yrs old, a registered nurse. I am married to a jeweller (good choice, eh??) and have three great kids; a son and 2 daughters. When pregnant with my first child I chose an Obstetrician and a private hospital. When I was 15 weeks pregnant I was mugged &endash; a pretty emotionally traumatic experience, but physically I was okay. At about 30 weeks My doctor began telling me that my baby was "huge", "the biggest I've delivered for quite a while". At 34 weeks my sister-in-law birthed her 2nd child (9lbs). She had a mild shoulder dystocia and required assistance to begin breathing. You could say that I was pretty terrified by the impending arrival of my first born. At 38 weeks I was hospitalised for high blood pressure (130/115mmHg). Which for some reason only went up when I went home for a while &endash; I wonder why?? Being a nurse, I stayed where I felt safe &endash; in hospital &endash; being "taken care of". I was induced at 42 weeks and after 12 hours my 8lb son was delivered by c/section. I dilated to 9 1/2 cm and, on being told this, promptly reverted to 8cm and stayed there. Nicholas was in a posterior position but was so low in my pelvis that we were baffled as to why my child would not be born. I know why! I wasn't going to push out a 10lb baby that would get "stuck" and die, I very consciously decided that I was not capable of birthing vaginally. I spent a lot of time convincing myself, and everyone around me, that the c/section "saved me and my baby". My second pregnancy progressed well and I decided to "try" for a vaginal birth with the same doctor. The baby was not engaged at 40 weeks and, although deemed to be smaller than my son, the doctor decided that this meant that she wouldn't fit well through my pelvis. I could wait another week or have an elective c/section the next day. I chose the c/section. That is a decision I regret above all else because I know that I didn't trust myself. I find it hard to forgive myself for feeling scared. Gemma was born the following morning with my husband (Dom), mother and grandmother present in theatre. It was quite wonderful, but something was missing. By the way, this "smaller" child was 8lb 10oz and had a head that was bigger by 2cm's!! A chance meeting with a nursing friend when Gemma was 1 changed my life. Marion had just given birth vaginally after 2 c/sections. I was so jealous. A great many emotions surfaced and I began looking for information. I eventually discovered Bronwyn, at the Pregnancy Information and Resource Centre. (I say discovered because I felt like a new world opened up to me). Over the next 18 months I met up with nearly every private midwife in Perth and made a lot of new friends. My husband and family were bombarded with statistics and stories of VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) almost to breaking point, but eventually I got my head straight as to what I wanted with ;my next, yet unconceived, pregnancy. A wonderful family holiday away, in Jan' 98, signalled the beginning of the final leg in my journey. A day before my period was due a +ve pregnancy test confirmed what I had suspected all week. I was really excited, but frightened, of what I'd set up in the way of expectations for myself. I met the Dr. I had decided was my best backup and rang Lesley to ask her to be my midwife. Bronwyn agreed to be another labour support person for us and we eventually decided on a hospital birth due to Dom's apprehension about me having a homebirth. The hospital was 45 min's away, but I was prepared to endure that to get the hospital I felt would not interfere with me. Lesley was also really well known there and that was an added bonus. I began Yoga at 15 weeks, and cried all the way there for the first couple of weeks. I was finally taking positive steps to achieve the birth I wanted and it was a bit over whelming. It would have been easier to just go with the flow and have another c/section! Did I say that? Yes, often. I just kept reminding myself of the safety issues and the personal reasons for choosing a natural birth. My sister-in-law had her 3rd elective c/section about 4 months into my pregnancy and, oh, the temptation to just go with the way I knew! My friend Audrey set me back on track by birthing her 3rd child naturally after 2 c/sections at the same hospital as I chose and with the same Dr. and Midwife. It was an Omen! I also found out that I was born at St. Annes (where I had chosen to go) so these signs kept me heading forward. There was a lot of personal work for me to do during the pregnancy, too much to go into here, but basically I was really relaxed and emotionally calm by the end of the 40 weeks. I suspected I would go past 40 weeks, but it was still hard to accept it once I got there. On Monday and Tuesday of my 40th week I woke with 4 &endash; 5 minutely contractions all night. Not painful &endash; just annoying, especially when they disappeared with dawn. Wed' all was calm, as was Thurs' (41 weeks!). Baby was well and had moved 2/5 into my pelvis. I knew that I wasn't dilated because I checked myself on Thursday night. At 3:30am Friday morning (I had gone to bed at 8pm and not woken until 3:30am) I woke up to a strong "clunk" in my pelvis. It didn't hurt, but it was very strange. I went back to sleep after going to the toilet and woke about 15 min's later when my water broke. I leapt (literally) out of bed onto the loo and managed to not make a mess anywhere! I sat for about 5 min's with fluid running out and then hopped into the shower. As I was standing under the hot water I laughed and began to cry. I said out loud to myself "I'm scared, I'm excited. I am going to let this happen. Let's go for it." I felt that I had to acknowledge my feelings openly and then get on with it. The next part was great. I woke Dom and asked him if he'd had a good sleep &endash; "yeah" he said, so I told him that I was pleased because my water just broke. I had never had the pleasure of telling him that our baby would be born soon. The look on his face was priceless. He stayed in bed because I wanted to be alone for a while. By 4am I'd had 2 little contractions so I rang Lesley to let her know. I said I'd call back when my contractions became regular. I made some Raspberry Leaf tea and sat down to read a magazine. I had about 4 more contractions, about 5 &endash; 10 min's apart, but they were stronger so I decided I didn't need the tea! I felt weird. Dom got up because he said I was moaning &endash; I hadn't realised. I last looked at the clock at 4:45am and I settled in front of the unlit fire, leaning into the seat of the lounge. I wanted the fire on but it was annoying me when Dom was lighting it. The contractions were all of a sudden quite powerful and felt really close together. Dom told me that a storm front had hit and that I should go outside to check it out. Yeah &endash; sure! Maybe I should have a drink and go to the loo, he suggested. Yeah &endash; Sure! By now (~5:05am) I didn't think I could stand. I ordered Dom to call Lesley and tell her I wanted her there now and went and sat on the loo. I had incredible contractions and diarrhoea, and really couldn't move. My affirmations poster hung before my eyes, reminding me to stay balanced and surrender, so it was probably really good that I had to stay put. Dom popped his head in a few times, reminding me to drink, and each time I wanted to know what the time was and how long until Lesley arrived. He very diplomatically told me that the time was unimportant and Lesley would be there "soon". When Lesley arrived I was shaking and crying (I remembered Sam saying this usually happens when you reach 5 &endash; 7 cm's dilation) and I informed her that we were going right now because I just couldn't do it anymore. I moved to the bed and Lesley examined me &endash; 6 cm's, paper thin cervix and really low head. For a moment I was incredibly relieved, then I had another contraction and realised the car ride would be awful. Dom was on the phone to Bronwyn to come over and Mum had just arrived to babysit. Lesley told Dom we were going now and to get off the phone. I was quite vocal by now and telling them both that I wanted to go now! We got in the car at about 6:15am (Lesley had arrived at 6am) and the journey began. I had no idea the freeway was so bumpy. Oh boy did I yell a lot and Lesley kept reminding me to keep my voice low. By the time we got into town (I live in Hamilton Hill and we were going to Mt. Lawley) I was starting to give little pushes with the peak of each contraction. "Try not to push yet, Kym" Lesley reminded me. When we reached St. Annes I was really ready to push. "Go for it" Lesley said. Four or five contractions later we had reached the birth room. Boy was I yelling (not screaming just a deep gutteral yell). I knelt on the floor, facing the couch and beanbag, but couldn't lean forward on the beanbag &endash; it was too awkward. So with each contraction I tucked my toes under and sort of knelt on my heals and pushed. Dom held a wet towel out for me to bury my face in inbetween contractions and that was great. After what felt like 10 or 15 min's, it was actually 45 min's I asked Lesley if she could see the head. "Feel for yourself" she said. I could feel something squishy and hairy just starting to stretch my perineum. I kept my hand there as the baby's head stretched it more and more. By now I didn't want to push, so I didn't, and slowly the baby's head came out with 2 or 3 gentle grunty pushes per contraction. I felt her shoulders rotate (which didn't hurt) and out she came. I sat back on my feet (kneeling) and caught her between my legs. I was a bit shocked at first, then I looked at Dom and said, "It's a girl." Sabrina arrived 3 hours and 10 min's after my contractions began. She weighed 7lb 10oz but her head was as big as my second child's, and I was relieved to be told that my perineum didn't tear. The placenta was born about 30 minutes later. Once the feeling came back into my feet (they were pretty numb from kneeling) I got up and showered then put on my silky nightie and hopped on the bed for some photo's. Dom had a nice cuddle with Sabrina while I showered. My tailbone felt sore, so it probably got moved out of the way a little as she was coming down, but I really didn't feel very sore at all. Hardly what I expected! Sabrina was born at 7:55am and we left St. Annes at 12 noon the same day. I couldn't believe it was over. The kids have been wonderful with their little sister and we have settled in nicely together. I think it's taking a while to realise that I achieved my dream. I'm a little pissed off that my Gemma could have been born naturally, but (deep down) I believe that my first two experiences made me look into myself so deeply that I appreciate Sabrina's birth far more than if I'd just had "routine hospital births" with the other two. I also don't fear myself so much now &endash; I trust myself instead. I really feel I've had my proper initiation into mother/womanhood instead of joining "the club" kind of by default. Please don't interpret that statement as meaning women who birth by c/section aren't really part of "the club" of mother/womanhood because that just isn't true. For me, though, a natural birth was what I needed to feel complete, and I do now. I thank all of the beautiful and courageous women I have met and who have inspired me. To my amazing midwife, Lesley Jennings, who facillitated this transformation and who is my friend &endash; I thank you. My gorgeous Dominic, who I love with all my heart, thankyou for believing in me and for putting up with me when I was (and still are sometimes) a pain in the butt. I thank my doctor for doing absolutely nothing!! Mostly, I thank the universe for giving me three of the most beautiful children anyone could hope for. The journey that lead to Sabrina's birth was a very intense part of my life. The support group meetings were always great. It is very cathartic to have a good bitch session about bad feelings and to get lots of reinforcement about good feelings. I also thought a lot about my friends in the lead up to my baby's birth and that helped me stay strong &endash; so all you gals that are "just" having coffee mornings, take pride in them and remember how very important they are to connect people.
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