Luke's Journey.The night I conceived Luke I dreamt I was having a girl, and this pregnancy and birth were for me. Through the pregnancy I wondered could I really have this baby at home? Would Geoff allow it? Could we afford It? - Well this I do know, Luke was destined to be born at home. One day, Geoff was looking at the Birth-plates we have for our other children; they were born at different hospitals, and in different ways - my first was born by c/section and the second was a normal birth following an induction. He asked me where this one was going to be born, and I stated with conviction "...at home". I knew this is what I wanted. I wanted to birth my baby at home - I also felt drawn to the gentleness of water and it's ability to ease pain. I needed somewhere which would give me solitude when I was in labour. We had always discussed the option of enclosing our bedroom's courtyard and installing a spa. We didn't have the money to do this, especially as Geoff had been out of work for a good part of the year, however somehow the money was provided for every step of the way, and we enclosed the courtyard and installed a spa. With every nail Geoff hammered into place I became more convinced I was going to have my baby at home, and he was going to be born in the spa. I did have moments when I was scared - scared of how I might feel if this baby was not born at home. I did know, however, that Luke would be born where it was safe and right for him to be born. On the eve of my labour, I felt tired and had a backache and did not want to cook tea. So Geoff brought some Chinese take-away, which was yummy and very relaxing. I had been getting Braxton Hick's all day, they were becoming more frequent and my back really ached. Geoff ran me a hot bath, and my three year old daughter, Breanna, came and washed and stroked me. She spoke with Luke and let him know she wanted him to come out and play. Mum rang and told me I was having my baby on Anzac Day (which was the next day). I just laughed, yet when I let her know my back ached she replied "Yep, you're going to have your baby tonight". As I put Breanna to bed, she also said "Mummy, you're going to have your baby in the morning!" I was experiencing more Braxton Hicks, and I was tired, but a little excited, wondering if tonight truly would be the night. Although I wanted to watch T.V. my husband had words of wisdom for me, and sent me to bed. I dozed off into a gentle sleep, in and out of mild contractions. Just before 1 a.m. Geoff came to bed. I had been getting a run of mild contractions, when I felt, and heard, a pop; just below my umbilicus. I thought "Gosh, what was that?" Feeling a wetness between my legs, I jumped out of bed knowing this was it. I was in fact going to have my baby this night, and nothing was going to stop us now! I had a nervous excitement about me. I intuitively knew this baby would be born at home. I didn't know what to do - let Geoff sleep or wake home up. After a couple more contractions I felt like I needed some emotional support, so I woke Geoff and informed him we were going to have a baby. Geoff boiled the raspberry leaf tea, which I promptly vomited after I drank it. I was nervously excited and so many things were going through my head. Geoff rubbed my back a few times during contractions, and then asked me if I wanted the spa run, which I did. Geoff was becoming upset with the neighbours, as they were playing loud music. I asked him not to let them get the better of him, and to focus on the baby and good energy. Geoff did let go and focused on the miracle which was about to happen. He kept asking me when did I want him to contact Lesley and Enid (I think he wanted to have them around for support). About 2:30 a.m. I noticed something that looked a little like meconium on a "bluey". This is when I asked Geoff to ring Lesley and Enid, I was a little concerned and thought someone needed to check Luke's heart-rate. I also thought if I jumped into the spa no-one would be able to get me out if I didn't want to get out. It was nice in the spa, and very relaxing. At about 3:10 a.m. Lesley arrived and set up her equipment , and listened to Luke's heart-rate. I was concerned I might be in the spa too early, as my contractions were not too close, or too strong, so I asked Lesley to examine me, which she did, and at 3:30 a.m. I was 4 cm's. The contractions out of the water were more frequent and more painful, so I decided it was not too early to be in the spa, and got back in. Lesley lit candles, as I had asked her to do ante-natally, and she and Geoff stayed with me. I had a strong desire to be completely alone, and in the dark. The candle-light, and their presence prevented me from completely going in to my own space - that space which enabled me to cope with me contractions the way I needed to. So I blew out the candle and asked Lesley and Geoff to leave the room, Geoff felt like he was not needed, but his care and concern were beautiful and it was comforting to know that he and Lesley were there in the lounge-room if I needed them. The contractions were becoming more intense, and I was using all my resources to cope with them. I found my own pattern, going with them instead of tensing each time one came. Lesley came and listened to the baby, and Geoff brought me a drink. Lesley told me Enid had arrived - which I was oblivious to. My husband told me I was doing really good and he was proud of me. I did not feel I was coping at this stage, and did not want the labour to be much longer. It was 4:30 a.m. and I said to myself "...one more hour and I'll have this Baby" (I had given myself this deadline, as that was all I though I would be able to cope with). I had three really intense contractions, which made me change position. I leant over onto all fours - however, this also was not comfortable, and I felt I needed to change positions again. My body had involuntarily, but gently, begun pushing. Obviously my breathing had changed, and Lesley had come back into the room to see where I was at. I looked at her with searching eyes - At this time I was standing leaning over the spa. I was scared, and a bit unsure what was going on - was I really ready to push? Or was it involuntary pushing, which I had with my last labour. I just wanted someone to give me some direction. Enid came in and whispered in my ear, recentring me to listen to my body, and see what it was telling me. It was telling me I was ready to have my baby - I was scared... was it going to hurt? Enid encouraged me to focus on my baby, and visualise where my baby was, and to make everything nice and soft, like jelly, for my baby and not to think of myself, but my baby - this was easy to do. In my mind's eye, I could see Luke - I knew I was going to have my baby very soon. My body involuntarily moved my baby through my pelvis and onto my perineum. Wow, what a powerful and awesome feeling - My body knew what it was doing - It did not need anyone, or even me, to tell it how to move my baby down ready for his birth. It really was an incredible experience. I could actually feel Luke's head between my vaginal wall - it was hard just like a baby's head! I felt so connected with my baby, and I knew I was making his passage out very gentle; at this moment I truly was one with Luke, I was overwhelmed. I felt a burning sensation as Luke's head stretched my perineum. With the next contraction Luke's head was gently born. The room was pitch black, and as I made no noise, my midwives were unaware that this had happened. I became a little panicky, and asked "Who was going to catch my baby?" Lesley lovingly replied, " You are, Julie". This is what I had wanted to do, but had momentarily forgotten, so was delighted when Lesley reminded me. I said, "The head's out." (I had already touched my baby's face, and felt his little nose and mouth - it really was beautiful!) Enid asked Lesley to see where the head was, and she exclaimed "Oh, it's out !" With the next movement I instinctively raised my left leg onto the spa ledge, and brought my baby out into the world, and into my arms - I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of his birth, and that I actually birthed my baby at home so gently, and spiritually. I exclaimed "I don't believe it ! I don't believe it !" I had a look of sheer disbelief on my face. I had already felt between Luke's little legs, and felt a huge scrotum, and knew I had a little boy. Lesley asked me what I had, and I said "A little boy." She said "Are you sure?" So I showed her his scrotum. She replied "I thought you were having a girl." I was momentarily disappointed he was not a girl - but he was so beautiful - he had a little fat face, and swollen eyelids, so I could not see his eyes. I could not help but love him. Luke's birth was so gentle, he did not cry. He was just content to nestle close to my bosom. Breanna and Caleb woke up, and were in awe to see their new baby brother. They pointed at, and stroked him very gently. Luke was born at 4:52 a.m. on Anzac day 1996, weighing a healthy 11 lbs, and 56 cm long with a 38 cm head. I had been told by my Obstetrician I could only have a vaginal birth after a c/section if my baby weighed less than 9 lb's. I was in awe of the beauty, strength and the knowing of the female pregnant labouring body. We truly do know how to birth our baby's when we are given a loving, safe and secure environment which allows our body's to intuitively and instinctively open our wombs, and move our babys through our bodies, to the moment of their birth. Thank you Geoff, Lesley and Enid, for providing me with such an environment which allowed me to gently, beautifully and lovingly give birth to my third child - Luke Brodie Hutcheson. What a Special Birth!!! Happy Birthday, Luke. |